Even with multiple physical and mental issues it was in these rooms I finally felt safe. I couldn't deal with my diagnoses and it took it toll bringing me into 3 programs. I would rather be an addict than have a mental issues. I had to write a letter about why I hated OA. Pretty revealing. Eventually I stopped blaming everyone else and accepted responsibility for my action. thus started my real recovery. I use multiple outside experts instead of self diagnosing, self medicating and failing.  I am embracing being a healthy woman, in a healthy body with healthy relationships. I do service which keeps me in the center of the herd. I work the steps and embrace the traditions to the best of my ability. My emotions may jump around but they are authentic.

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