My home groups a 100 Pounder Meeting.  I resonate with those at the bottom who continue to eat. I I thought my clothes would trick you when my face didn't I never knew what a "Normal" body size was.  I lied to myself everyday about what I would eat. I have been in the program for about 20 years.  however  3 years ago I was deep into a relapse, waking up in the middle of the night sick. The day I got abstinent the change was so dramatic it affected me negatively physically and emotionally for weeks. One day of abstinence is a miracle.  Abstinence is scary, joyful, amazing and everything in between. I continue to grow and change, make mistakes, work the steps and still looking for a way around it.

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