In this insightful episode of Reframe This, licensed therapist Matt and his wife and co-host Corinna dive into one of the most common — and misunderstood — dynamics in relationships: avoided and lingering conflict. With warmth, humor, and honesty, they explore how avoiding hard conversations in the name of “keeping the peace” can actually harm our mental health and emotional connection.Drawing from real moments in their own marriage, Matt and Corinna unpack what happens when small issues get swept away like “Legos under the rug” - OUCH! - and how that quiet discomfort can grow into resentment and distance.Matt explains why we avoid conflict: fear of rejection, learned childhood patterns, and a lack of trust in how the other person might respond. He compares conflict avoidance to skipping the gym — it feels easier in the moment but ultimately leaves us weaker and more disconnected. Together, they reframe conflict as an opportunity for growth, vulnerability, and healing rather than a threat.🧠 Key Topics & TakeawaysWhy we avoid conflict — and how that avoidance impacts our mental and emotional healthHow resentment builds silently when we stay quiet to “keep the peace”Tools for healthy conflict: timing, tone, and “name, own, invite” communicationUsing I feel statements to express emotion without blame or defensivenessReplacing reaction with reflection — learning to pause before respondingHow to approach difficult topics with curiosity and compassionThe power of neuroplasticity and rewiring our brains to associate hard talks with connectionTips for emotional regulation: journaling, visibility, and “one conversation at a time”Creating a relationship culture built on honesty, vulnerability, and emotional safety💡 Reframe of the Week“Avoiding conflict doesn’t protect our peace — it postpones connection. Real peace comes from honest conversations spoken with courage and care.”🕊️ Spiritual ReflectionMatt and Karina close with two meaningful reframes from Scripture:Ecclesiastes 3:7 — “A time to be silent and a time to speak.” Silence should be functional, not avoidant.Proverbs 27:6 — “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Speaking truth in love builds trust, even when it stings.❤️ Why It MattersHealthy relationships aren’t conflict-free — they’re conflict-capable. When we learn to engage rather than avoid, we build resilience, deepen intimacy, and strengthen our overall mental health and relational wellbeing.If this episode brought up something you’d like to explore further, consider talking with a licensed therapist. You can find a professional near you through Psychology Today’s Therapist DirectoryResource Links:Brené Brown: Official WebsiteHow Neuroplasticity Supports Emotional Growth

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