I am not a 100 pounder so I would compare (I'm not that bad)  in the beginning.  I used food to anesthetize myself and it worked in my youth. I was known in my family as a sneak eater. Somewhere I knew it wasn't all about the food but I still thought it was about the food. I was a sneak eater even when I didn't have to. Holidays were a time when I didn't have to sneak. But I still did. Relationships were a trigger for weight gain. I was clear that God could not help me with my food.  But he did. I spent a long time just dipping my toe in the program confidant that I already had it because of my other program. Finally getting a sponsor, listening to him, working the steps through the the lens of OA.  Eventually things were happening that I could not do. Thus a higher power became present for me. The box In which I placed my HP  continues to get bigger,

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