Heartbreak isn’t the headline—it’s the mirror. In this conversation with author and singer-songwriter Nikki Allen, we unpack how grief, boundaries, and deep self-honesty turn pain into purpose. Nikki shares the origin of her novel “Loved You, Hated You,” why healing had to come before writing, how to stop shrinking to fit, and the simple practices she uses to reprogram negative loops. If you’ve loved hard, lost harder, and want your voice back, this episode gives you clear steps to reclaim it.
About the guest :
Nikki Allen is a storyteller, spiritualist, and singer-songwriter. Her book “Loved You, Hated You” grew from a song to a screenplay to a novel—alchemizing lived heartbreak into liberating art. She champions radical self-love, boundaries, and truthful creativity.
Key takeaways :


Healing first, art second: Nikki couldn’t create from fresh wounds; she processes, then writes—proof that clarity strengthens the story and the nervous system.


Heartbreak as a mirror: Pain reflects what’s unhealed and where boundaries are missing; ownership replaces blame and accelerates growth.


Choose you: Ending a six-year relationship taught Nikki that self-respect isn’t selfish; if a partner won’t grow with you, choose alignment over attachment.


Boundaries beat people-pleasing: Stop shrinking to keep the peace; curate a circle that uplifts and protects your growth.


Name the pattern: If the “same partner/friend” keeps showing up, identify the trigger you haven’t healed and set firmer limits.


Reprogram the loop: When old stories surface, acknowledge them and consciously redirect—“I hear you, but we’re safe and moving forward.”


Grief is personal, not linear: Some need silence; others need conversation. There’s no single “right” way—honor your process and timeline.


Creativity without performance: Spiritual depth shows up naturally when you write from the soul; no need to “force” a brand of positivity.


How to connect with the guest
Website: nikkiallen.com
Book: “Loved You, Hated You” — available on Amazon

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