Episode 3: How to Set Boundaries AND Preserve the Relationship

27/08/2025 10 min

Listen "Episode 3: How to Set Boundaries AND Preserve the Relationship"

Episode Synopsis

The boundaries that start as necessary self-protection but end up turning into walls that shut out the relationships you're trying to preserve.As overachievers, we often run without boundaries for years - saying yes, taking on more, fixing and helping everyone else at our expense. Then we discover boundaries and they feel life-changing. But sometimes in protecting ourselves after years of over-giving, our boundaries get rigid and isolating.Dasha challenges the popular advice of "write down behaviors you won't tolerate, inform others, and if they cross them, walk away." While boundaries are essential, this approach can damage the relationships you're trying to improve.The key insight: Boundaries aren't just about enforcement - they're about agreement.She shares a common relationship scenario where one partner needs space after conflict while the other wants to talk immediately. Instead of rigid boundary enforcement, she suggests creating relational agreements ahead of time that honor both people's needs.Key topics:Why "No is a complete sentence" sometimes lacks kindnessThe difference between boundaries that connect vs. disconnectHow to make agreements instead of demandsWhy making others enforce your boundaries doesn't workBalancing honesty with connection, clarity with careQuestions to consider: Where have your boundaries become walls? How can you protect your energy without isolating yourself?Feeling overwhelmed because you're responsible for everything under the sun? Take the Energy Leaks Quiz to uncover what's really stealing your energy in just 2 minutes.Connect with Dasha:Website: coachingbydasha.comLinkedIn: Dasha Tcherniakovskaia