Why is change so scary? Well we can also say, change is uncomfortable or change is uncertain and those are just 2 important reasons why we steer away from it. I know there are many others. People will choose comfort, customs, distractions, and avoidance as a way to remain stagnant in life. This happens because we fear the possibility of failure, not being accepted by others, fear of judgement, and the amount of energy it takes to create change.
Lets take fear of the unknown for example: when faced with change, we do not know exactly what to expect which leads to overthinking. Why do we automatically go there? Sometimes its related to stress, other times we connect the thought to a previous experience and therefore assume the worst-case scenarios. Have you ever found yourself debating between 2 jobs, 2 girlfriends or boyfriends, 2 dresses, or 2 vehicles? I’m sure you have as we all have and usually we will weight out the pros and cons, seek advice from others, sometimes even hope for someone to give us the answer, only to find out you wish you chose the other option.
Now lets talk about how change is uncomfortable.
We are creatures of habit, think about it, from our morning routine, to the people we talk with or check in with every day, we usually do the same things every day. Our brains are trained to find comfort in predictability, so when we choose to disrupt our thinking or our routine, it doesn’t feel good. Some examples of disruptions can include making small talk with the cashier at the coffee shop while you wait for your order or raising your hand to ask an important question in front of a large group of people. These examples I provided open up a door for criticism or judgement which is why we avoid it all together.
Now I provided surface level examples just to paint the picture. I hope you get the idea because I would really like to address the deeper issues that remain true for all of us which is facing our loved ones.
So when it comes to addressing family members, close friends, or spouses, we tend to avoid because of the fear of conflict, possible rejection, or a change in the family dynamic. We choose to go along with all the regular planned ideas without rocking the boat which internally causes emotional stress. But we wont say anything or ask questions because we don’t want to be the reason anything changes. Months pass, sometimes years pass and we continue this pattern of keeping our thoughts and opinions to ourselves. I often her the phrase, “I have to” followed by something most people dread. I challenge you to remove the word “have” from any phrase and replace it with, “want”. For example, instead of saying, ‘I HAVE to go to the party”, it will sound like this, “I WANT to go to the party”. This simple change will allow you to take back control over your decisions. If it doesn’t sit right with you then you should be saying, “I DON”T WANT to go to the party, therefore I WONT”.
Now I don’t know about you, but some of my most significant, empowering relationships throughout my life involved people who held me accountable for my actions, weren’t afraid to address things with me, and offered me a different perspective in life, Yes, it is possible to reflect on what is being said and to challenge yourself to think differently.
I believe that we cross paths with people for different reasons and how foolish would it be to not take advantage of what the other person has to offer. We must be willing to listen, to pause, and to take in new information because it could change our life forever.
If we choose to continue this thought of not wanting to shake things up, we rob ourselves of success, joy, and abundance. We put limits on our own lives.
Now I really want you to think for a moment to a time when you had to force yourself to be uncomfortable with a given situation because you were unsure of the outcome. How did that sit with you? How did you manage to get through it? How did it change your perspective?
The secret to embracing a life full of possibilities is being ok with the outcome. I get it, we aren’t always going to know what will happen and that is the reality of it. We face this concept everyday. Tell yourself its ok if things don’t go as planned, allow yourself to be flexible and to adapt along the way.
I leave you all with this final thought for the week
You can’t change what is going on around you until you change what’s going on inside of you. Challenge yourself, take risks, and I encourage you to start small and slowly work your way up to the harder ones.

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