We love to glorify the “chill” partner—the one who doesn’t fight, doesn’t need much, and keeps everything smooth. But what looks like calm often hides a nervous system in overdrive. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks how emotional suppression gets mislabeled as strength, why “low-maintenance” love can quietly erode trust, and how the pursue-withdraw cycle turns silence into self-protection.Learn why avoidant patterns don’t come from a lack of love but from too much overwhelm—and how to begin replacing politeness with real safety. You’ll also hear how small, honest moments can transform disconnection into co-regulation.If you’ve ever been called “the chill one” or wondered why your partner seems emotionally distant, this episode will help you see what’s really happening underneath the calm.Key Topics CoveredThe cultural myth of the “chill” partner and why it’s secretly exhaustingHow emotional suppression becomes a survival strategy, not a personality traitThe nervous-system logic behind withdrawal and shutdownHow “calm” can actually signal dysregulationThe pursue-withdraw dance and why both partners are protecting love in different waysWhat real calm and emotional authenticity look like in practiceA simple reflection to move from I’m fine to I’m realCelebrationBefore diving in, Rachel celebrates a major milestone—over 1,000 downloads of Coupled With…! She shares heartfelt gratitude and invites listeners to leave a rating, review, or share the show to help others find this work.Resources:Want to explore working with Dr. Rachel in therapy?Check out her private practice website: www.meaningfuljourneycounseling.com

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