"You don't need to be healthy to be worthy human being" Fierce, hilariously honest, and an A-list advocate, Vinny Welsby is a fat activist and diversity, equity and inclusion leader. They are a world-leading expert on dismantling anti-fat bias and diet culture, a TEDx speaker, podcast host and best-selling author.  Vinny is trans-non-binary and is dedicated to shifting how society views fat and queer bodies through education and compassion.  Stay in touch with Vinny: Instagram: @fierce.fatty https://www.instagram.com/fierce.fatty/ TikTok: @fiercefatty https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercefatty Facebook: @fiercefatty https://www.facebook.com/fiercefatty/ Twitter: @fiercefatty_ https://twitter.com/fiercefatty_ Pinterest: @fiercefatty_ https://www.pinterest.ca/fiercefatty_/ YouTube: @fiercefatty https://www.youtube.com/fiercefatty Email: [email protected]   For more on Vinny and their services: www.fiercefatty.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/vinnywelsby/ https://www.youtube.com/fiercefatty   Script:  My first real job, the head boss called me Miss Piggy behind my back and to everyone for two years. I only learned of it after I left and a colleague finally came clean. Almost daily during lunch, there was talk of eating, quote, healthy and statements that made me feel paranoid about what I ate in public. There were definitely jokes made by my boss about fat people. were definitely jokes made by my boss about fat people one of the most memorable ones for me experiences was the time i cheered during a meeting and my boss responded with hey you burned a calorie no Welcome to Weirdos in the Workplace, the podcast that celebrates authenticity, transparency, passion, and purpose in our world of work today. And you know me, I'm your host, Erin Patchell. And today I'm here with Vinny Welsby. Welcome, Vinny. Hello, hello, Erin. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to talk about fat stuff with you today. I am so excited to talk about fat stuff because, you know, very near and dear to my heart, literally and figuratively. Yeah. Vinny is a fat activist, in case you didn't notice and a diversity equity and inclusion leader they are a world-leading expert on dismantling anti-fat bias in diet culture a TEDx speaker and I watched it it's fabulous podcast host and best-selling author then he is trans non-binary and is dedicated to shifting how society views fat and queer bodies through education and compassion i already love you so there you go thank you oh my gosh where do we even start um i was listening to your tedx and there was one moment i mean there's a few moments that stood out for sure and a surprise towards the end for anyone who's going to watch. I won't say anything more about that. I'll just leave the intrigue right there. But when you said you don't need to be healthy to be a worthy human being, that literally just brought so many tears to my eyes because it transcends everything it's not about being fat right it's about being a person and all the work that we've been doing lately at positivist group and at the train to help project um maybe we'll talk about that at some point i think people who've been listening kind of know a bit about it but um i i just want to just kind of lay that out because um you can be healthy and fat right but you don't have to be healthy what what are we what are we even talking about why are we bringing this you know why is this even a conversation in in this day and age so i just wanted to say when you shared that I it really really struck home with me yeah because I think like that that line of it's kind of the I don't want the right word for but that zinger or the like the full stop because um people like to say it's not okay to say it's okay to say that it's okay to be fat uh because uh fat people some fat people are unhealthy and some people will say all fat people are unhealthy well it that doesn't matter even if every single fat person is super super unhealthy it doesn't mean that they're a less worthy person and so where people go from there that's kind of like well okay well what can I say to that there's not that much you can say to that really apart from okay yeah you know but some people will say no if you are unhealthy then you're a terrible person or whatever but uh that's their stuff oh yeah I don't know let's let's back up a little bit because I feel like we're going I just I brought it really deep really fast so let's come for air um tell me about how in the world this became your focus uh yeah so it is out of out of necessity out of selfish desire of of uh needing this in my life most of my life  i thought that fatness was uh the worst thing that i could be um and i would do everything i could to not be fat i thought that becoming smaller would change my life would make me more confident would make me more lovable would make me uh you know money rain down from the sky and have hunky celebrities calling me up asking for a date and um when i did temporarily become thin and it's most people's stories that they temporarily lose weight because diets don't work for the vast majority of people when i did temporarily become thin none of those things happened uh yes I experienced more privilege because I had a smaller body however the way that I viewed myself um wasn't changed and my abilities to do the things I wanted in life didn't change um and it was really really painful for me as it is for many people and then one day after many years of dealing with this stuff i saw a message on the internet this is about 10 years ago that said it's okay to be fat and i was like get the fuck out of here what do you what do you mean it's okay to be fat um this was so revolutionary for me i had never considered um that this was an option and i continued reading it was reagan chastain's blog dances with fat i remember exactly where i was sat in my bed with my then boyfriend who had told me that he was less attracted to me because i had a slightly bigger body um and turning around to telling him like did you know this did you know that fat people could be healthy and did you know that uh that you can accept yourself the way that you are and that fat people deserve like dignity and respect? And, you know, it was life changing. From that moment onwards, everything shifted. And it's been my mission and it's been my life's calling since then to share that same message that you're worthy. You always were. You always will be. Having a bigger body does not mean that you're worthy you always were you always will be having a bigger body does not mean that you're less worthy wow oh I wish that I could internalize that message you know it's going to be a struggle for me to get through this conversation without crying I'm just going to let everyone out there know because like I've been a fat girl my entire life yeah I've been a fat girl and everything that comes along with that you know all of the social rejection that comes along with that like you can tell it's very hard for me to say this and you know it is it is so painful for so many people because we've been told what fatness means is abhorrent is disgusting is a failure and how is that not so painful it is it really is especially imagine being a child oh i'm sure that you know how this feels right yes oh it's just life fucking up stuff these these and all that is is anti-fat bias because those things aren't true it's not true that you're uh you know this terrible human or i am or anyone else who has a bigger body or anyone who has a body that's outside social norms it's just not true it's an opinion it's a dominant opinion um and the moment that we can start unlearning that bias that we have internalized we can be free and that freedom from anti-fat bias oh oh my goodness it's so fucking good honestly i gotta say it's it's really good it's so nice it. It's interesting because, like, you know, I watch you. You know, like, I watch you and I've seen your TED. And, you know, I've been kind of following some of your social media stuff. And you do seem so free. And I feel like people think that I feel that way. You know? Like, I will go to the beach. Like we went skinny dipping at a resort, you know? Like, you know what I mean? Like there's like these things, like I'll do them and I will be unapologetic about it. But it doesn't mean that I act free, but I don't feel free. How do we go from, I mean, a lot of people don't even act free, you know, it's like fake it till you make it. I'm in that phase, I think. Yeah. What do you think that people around you are thinking when they see you skinny dimping or at the beach or whatever? Like, are you thinking about what they're thinking? I hope that they think that I don't care you know I hope that they think that like there is a person who is having fun you know and being herself and that's what I want that's what I believe that they are seeing um so it's not them it's not me thinking it's them it's really me like yeah so what's your brain saying then um in the in that moment I don't care you know it's in the other moments that um when I'm in the change room and something doesn't look the mirror is like you know it's like whoa that looks really bad or you know when you look at all the cute things that you would want to wear if I look at my daughters who are literally perfect um in the stereotypical sense of the word you know and you're just like thank god that they're perfect you know it's so much easier for them yeah yeah so you're it's that internalized like uh you saying oh I don't look right and my body's wrong or whatever it is that's coming up. But you're you're hoping that people outside are are saying good for her. You go you go and do your swim thing. And so it's. Yeah, I have I have very optimistic ideas of what people think. Yeah. I live in a little optimism bubble. But you know what? I don't think that's a bad thing. No, no, I think so. So when I'm talking to people doing like one-on-one stuff, I'll ask them like these questions I was asking you because, because, because a lot of times people, it'll be people have different stages of, of, of unlearning anti-fat bias. A lot of times people will say, people are looking at me and saying that i'm disgusting and um then when you when you've worked on anti-fat bias stuff that will start to fade away and you'll have a more generous view of how people might be looking at you because you're also looking at other people with a generous lens when you're really really deep stuck in anti-fat bias you're thinking about other people being like, oh, gross that they are unattractive. And you're looking at yourself. Oh, gross. I'm unattractive. Once you start unlearning anti-fat bias, you begin by looking at other people with love and compassion. And then the next stage is looking at yourself. So from what you've told me, it sounds like you've already done a lot of work on this stuff and you're taking action. So if anyone listening is kind of in a similar position or if they're thinking other things about other people, wherever you're at, it tells me that you've done so much. And also there is the possibility for that shift so that you can take that compassion you're giving to others and give it to yourself in those moments of like what in the changing room what would if i was stood next to you and i and you said oh i don't look good like what would i be saying i'm like what the heck you know i mean sometimes it's valid sometimes it's like oh you know what maybe that's not the right fit or whatever it is like color yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe that's not the right style for you like I think there's some validity to it do you think I would say you if you said oh I don't look good I'd say yeah that's valid I mean I hope if it were true you would say that I don't know because I wouldn't look at I wouldn't look at someone's body and say, oh, that's not right, or you don't look good. Like, it just wouldn't come. I couldn't, in my brain, I couldn't see it. So anyway, anyway. But this happens at work, and that's the thing. It's like, I strongly believe, and I have heard this story from other people just before you and I started chatting this story from other people just before you and I started chatting.  I had a friend text me. I'm like, oh, you wouldn't believe, you know, what I'm doing next, like podcast with you. And we, you know, a lot of, it's funny how people who are overweight often attract other people who are overweight. And a lot of my friends are a little bit overweight, a little bit fat. And they're okay. You know, we're solid, like we are like confident fat ladies, and that's fine. But they were saying that they had a wicked story about a boss, they had lost 50 pounds in the workplace. And it was like wild, you know, how, how differently they were treated all of a sudden. It was very obvious. This is a real, this is actually, I think, a huge problem in the workplace. And I strongly believe that I was, I've been held back because of my weight, you know, and that's a problem because I'm smart. Like, you know, like everything else aside, the way I look aside, like I'm a hard worker and I'm smart and worker and I'm smart and diligent and I give a shit. And I think those qualities should far overweigh what I weigh, you know?  Exactly. And I feel like a lot of people in bigger bodies, they're actually harder workers than people in smaller bodies because they have to prove themselves. So they're just working their fingers to the bone and being perceived as lazy because they have a bigger body which is which is really unfair and what's really driven this home for me is recently i have i've just completed it and i can send you a link to it um is a fat at work report did i tell you about this before oh no remind me yeah it's so i've done a survey with 336 people asking them about their experiences at work and these are all people in bigger bodies um and i've done an analysis and report from that survey and the the stuff that the stories that people have shared are horrific heartbreaking unbelievable when i say unbelievable 100 believable but still you're thinking how do people like this exist in the workplace it's so cruel right um so what we learned from this this report was that um the percentage of fat people that have um said that they've experienced anti-fat bias in the workplace is 95.65 percent oh wow yeah now that is gargantuan. It's just every fat person has had shit experiences in the workplace.  And then if we put on top of that the marginalized identities, people who are over the age of 50, people who are racialized, people who are disabled and have a lower economic status they are all experiencing this anti-fat bias more more in their life and had have had feel like they've had a greater impact on their career so um this is this anti-fat bias in the workplace a lot of people say does it exist is this a thing not only does it exist but it's a huge thing it's a massive problem and no one's talking about it which is not literally no one's talking about it when I saw what you do I was like oh my gosh yes like we talk about diversity equity inclusion and accessibility and i think people with disabilities also it's not talked about enough so we're talking about that more as well but this is literally never talked about and first person i've ever heard talk about i know isn't it weird and the thing is fat people are the largest marginalized uh group in most societies so it's you know the statistics something like 68 percent of women are plus size so if we're thinking 68 percent of the workforce depending on the company um 68 percent of those people have experienced uh almost all of them have experienced anti-fat bias in the workplace and not just like a little bit these stories are egregious really really not cool wow yeah so what do you do i know that you're working hard obviously you're trying to enlighten people get the word out you know you're you're you're like becoming an influencer you are an influencer but i can see that you're like, you've, you're on a mission. Oh my goodness. Yeah. What do we do? What do we do? It's hard. It's really hard. You know? I don't know. What do we do? Go and have a nap or something. Watch some Netflix. Relax. But actually I ask people like, what, what do they need? What makes, what would make things easier?  like what's the most essential things it's really really sad but this most like the beginning stuff is uh really basic human uh necessities like having access to a washroom that they can use um having a place to sit having um if they wear uniform clothes to wear so that's the first thing really basic really like basic stuff and so you know how have we not already got the these basics covered but that's the first thing is making sure that we've provided basic amenities if we're in the workplace um the next thing that we need to do is we need to gather data because um almost every single um workplace that asks demographic data will not ask about people's body size they have no clue how many fat employees they have unless it's for wellness initiatives or or for the insurance and then they're not using it as a demographic for for diversity reasons um and they don't know what the fat people's experiences are um and so we need to be asking this this question like what's your body size and if you feel comfortable sharing and how, how's your experience in the workplace?  So once we've got that data, then we can provide training and start shifting attitudes. Um, and what I do is I start with the DEI team or company leaders because so often a lot of, uh, shit is coming from people's bosses um is uh let me do you want me to tell you some of these stories from like people's bosses yeah okay let me let me let me go let me go to the bosses section because i've so with the stories i've kind of um put them into different categories um so many bosses saying like terrible shit so uh an office manager once said to my face that she would rather die than be fat one of the most memorable ones for me experiences was the time i cheered during a meeting and my boss responded with hey you burned a calorie no um i once worked for a men's health organization and i was told i needed to be smaller from the executive director to reflect men's health i am a woman it made me feel terrible most of the discomfort i experienced at work was pressure to diet and to keep weight off almost daily during lunch there was talk of eating quote healthy and statements that made me feel paranoid about what i ate in public there were definitely jokes made by my boss about fat people um this one person my first real job the head boss called me miss piggy behind my back and to everyone for two years i only learned of it after i left and a colleague finally came clean um yeah so the stories go on and on and on uh about you know food shaming and commenting on people's bodies and on an employee's bodies it's just fucked up it is it's totally fucked up um what do you think people are specifically afraid of like these bosses in particular like what is it that they're so afraid of fat bodies um i think it comes down to, are they a lovable, worthy, worthy human? Because if they're not maintaining a smaller body, then they are out of control and they are bad and they are not lovable.  They are, they are to be rejected from society. Because of all of this anti-fat bias we've internalized we see fatness as this almost death sentence so why wouldn't they be terrified of being fat or becoming bigger it makes total sense and because everyone else not everyone but most people also have that same fear of being fat or being fatter, that we all bond on this communal shame of, oh, I'm being naughty. I shouldn't eat this like sliver of cake. And, oh, I had a bad weekend eating this or I should really lose weight or whatever. That really is for many people very bonding because we all have those same fears so yeah it's a very very normal part of our culture as we all know and what can we if you're a leader if you're a leader listening to this you know and you want to be more inclusive um so Vinny what would you say to the leaders listening to this who do want to be more inclusive? How do they like notice those moments and change the script? Yeah, it's hard because so many people, it's so normalized in workplaces, right? So this really is about a culture shift within organizations. So we spoke about those like those basic things like basic amenities um asking questions and training but the um the big thing is is making a culture shift and how we do that is complicated but putting in um policies to protect people with with bigger bodies um so within your hr um within your dei policies mentioning that size is a protected class um size is a protected class in a number of locations in the us um it will be coming to a city a state a province near you this is going to happen so you you should get on the the front end of this making so making in your statement your diversity statement we protect people um due to their size and so you would say height and weight um realizing that i don't think we have done that on a positive histogram so i'm just gonna go because you don't you don't think about it yeah no you don't think about it um you could also just say uh due to uh the way that your body looks when someone's body looked if you don't want to mention height or weight um we also want to make in uh the same way that we have policies protecting those protected groups like what would you do if your colleague came in and started saying oh i hate i hate people with adhd i'm someone with adhd oh people are adhd blah blah whatever they were saying ableist stuff there would be a plan that hr has in place to deal with that type of behavior is if someone's being a bigot in the office yeah we don't just let it fly well i said we don't let it fly a lot of places do um and so we don't let anti-fat bias fly we don't let diet talk fly um that's not who we are as an organization culturally that's not our values we're an inclusive organization if that's who you are so um that has to be a learning process people overnight are not going to understand if you just say hey everyone we're changing the rules you're not allowed to talk about um diets and and hating your body people are going to be like what the fuck um this is really strange and why not and also we don't and um they won't know that the stuff that they're saying is really harmful and based in bias. So there needs to be education. So I wish that there was a simple kind of, oh, just do this, like put something at the bottom of your email signature or something. But it's a cultural shift and changing norms in the in the organization right but it can start with the particular leader so like as an individual you have the autonomy to change the way that you do things yeah yeah for any person yeah call something out or call something in however we're saying that yeah yeah yeah yeah so you could be saying like hey by the way uh in our team we have a uh no body talk um policy and uh talking to you know if someone says something like hey by the way we don't talk about bodies in that way la la la um so you could definitely within your team have that but unfortunately you wouldn't be theoretically backed up by policy within the organization unless that's changed right it would be a microculture that yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what i would do like if i if uh if i had a team a team and i worked in an organization and someone started talking about this stuff i would take them aside and very gently call them in um yeah and um and then influence upward i suppose you know yes it's not already company policy yeah that's what exactly what happens is when i go into organizations um it's because a fat person has influenced upwards and said we need this now right and it's happened because the straight size people in the organization will say it's not a big deal. And the fat, the fat leader will say it is a big deal.  I know because I've lived it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that doesn't necessarily change how we perceive ourselves, but it helps, you know, so it doesn't absolve us as a like if you're a fat person like I am, you know, out know out there you know it doesn't absolve us for doing that work ourselves either because i don't know if you recognize that quote i think i sent you an email with a little quote in it it's from the dao of steve and they're talking about like how he won't date thin people or something yeah i looked it up i hadn't recognized that i looked it up and i was like what is this what is going on i love that movie and he says um i'm the worst kind of fattest i'm a fat fattest and i always feel that way too sometimes i'm like so it certainly doesn't absolve me from um the work that i need to do to detangle my own biases yeah yeah because we will we will cause harm we'll always no matter what we'll always call cause harm and so um it's a lot easier to advocate for this work and do this work um in organizations if you deeply believe that all fat people including yourself deserve um everything in the world and are wonderful humans. And, you know, you've got rid of that bias. It's harder to advocate when you're agreeing with the oppressor and you're like, oh, I'm kind of disgusting. So it just makes things easier if you think that you're right in some ways. Yeah, absolutely. Yes. And I think people should feel confident to just live their lives without judgment you know and be able to do what they want to do and be who they want to be i mean you know i think that would be a beautiful world to live in oh wouldn't it oh and i i know when i was in really in in anti in diet culture and anti-fatness i couldn't imagine that that being a reality because everyone speaks about this stuff you know hating themselves and diets and how can they get thin and um but i want to let people know that it is a reality to um maybe not for everyone because of different dynamics and stuff but it is a reality that there are people out there who are not going to be judgmental towards your body, that you can create relationships and community with people who are, who are like-minded, who are fierce fatties and who will call you out. If you try and talk shit about yourself. And luckily after, you know, 10 years of therapy and all that type of stuff that's where i'm at in my life and it's i'm almost like this is unbelievable it's very strange and so wonderful and it really supports my mental health because here's the thing is you can't stop doing this work um we are bombarded by anti-fat stuff all the time going like go and watch you know a tv show bikini babes on the beach dating show immediately your brain's like oh maybe i should be a bikini babe and maybe i should be younger and maybe i should be thinner maybe i should get botox and maybe i should targeted advertising now on the media and everything constant it's constant so it's a constant kind of balancing of yeah i want to watch bikini babes on the media and everything constant it's constant so it's a constant kind of balancing of yeah i want to watch bikini babes on the beach show because it's i love trashy tv but you know i want to protect my mental health and how can i do both and can i do both and yeah well we have a lot of work to do yeah and that's the thing is i i i teach both sides right i teach help individuals and organizations because you it's really hard to do one without the other yeah and we're going to post you know every possible way that people can get a hold of you vinny in the show notes so folks out there um i know that you do have education that you do public education so people can like buy a ticket to a class um you know, and you do obviously corporate education as well. So if there are corporations out there looking for this type of support, you know, you are fabulous. And I can only imagine how good you must be in a small group. So, yeah. Well, I think, well, I think I, yes. i yes thank you i'm just gonna take the compliment i was like not everyone likes me god erin no but everyone come on thank you yeah and um the uh the report that i was i was quoting from and talking about it's uh 58 pages of juicy stuff and so um i've got it i've got a link for people to download it amazing amazing yes i cannot wait to look at that that sounds so interesting it is i've been nerding out about it okay when did that was when was that released it hasn't Oh, it's brand new. It's, uh, I'm wait, I've, I've, I've just finished it like last week and I'm like, when should I release this? But everything's live. So people can get, can get, I just haven't shared the link with anyone. So I can, you know, obviously share it with you. And, um, it's amazing. Yes. I can't wait. Hot off those presses.  If there were presses. Awesome. Well, I really appreciate you coming on and chatting with me Vinny it's been a pleasure thank you Erin thanks for uh talking about fat stuff with me I really appreciate it oh yeah no it's it's been good we I need to talk about this more I think it's one of those things where it's like you need to shine a light on the dark areas of your life and have you know brought you shame and then that's how you dark areas of your life and have, you know, brought you shame. And then that's how you get out of it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Like there's a quote from a controversial vigor, Brené Brown, but I like the quote, shame cannot survive the light. Oh yeah. Perfect. Yep. Yeah. So shine some light on that shame. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  Don't forget to stay weird, stay wonderful, and don't stay out of trouble!

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