Dr. Jack Rocco sits down with Connor Howe, a prominent male adoptee advocate, to explore the unique psychological challenges faced by adopted men. This raw and honest conversation delves into the neurological impact of early separation trauma, relationship difficulties, and why society often overlooks the mental health struggles of male adoptees.Connor Howe (@adoptedconnor) is a first-generation open adoption advocate who has gained significant traction on social media for his unfiltered takes on adoption practices and their long-term psychological effects. Born in the 1990s, Connor experienced an open adoption where he knew his biological mother but saw her rarely, while his biological father in Ireland remains unknown to him.Connor's story of growing up knowing his biological mother but only seeing her ~5 hours per yearThe complexity of having a biological father who wants no contactHow open adoption creates its own unique set of psychological challengesThe neurological impact of infant separation from birth mothersWhy adoptees share common experiences like "staring in the mirror" and feeling like chameleonsThe concept of "genetic mirroring" and its absence in adoptees' livesHow boys express trauma through anger while girls cry, leading to different treatmentWhy male adoptees are overrepresented in mental health issues, criminal justice, and suicide statisticsThe pressure on men to "toughen up" rather than process emotional woundsFear of rejection as a driving force in life decisionsHow not knowing yourself makes it difficult to present authentically in relationshipsThe viral TikTok warning women against dating adopted men and its harmful stereotypesThe pressure to be thankful and perform as the "poster child" for adoptionHow the "chosen/blessed/lucky" messaging invalidates adoptees' complex emotionsThe impossible task of making everyone else's adoption dreams come trueHow modern adoption practices stem from 1920s commercializationThe role of altered birth certificates in legal identity erasureWhy "blood doesn't make family" is often used specifically to erase adoptee connections"It's that missing piece. It's that hole in your center that you can't scratch... It's the itch you can't scratch.""Being adopted feels like someone pressed a randomized button on a video game character""I felt like I was this poster child of open adoption... I had to make everyone else's dreams come true""My entire life has been shaped by my deep desire to avoid rejection at all costs"Dr. Jack Rocco's book: "Recycled"Follow Connor: @adoptedconnor (Instagram/Social Media)Ultimate Men's Movement: ultimatemensmovement.comUltimate Men's Clinic: ultimatemensclinic.com (New Bedford, Massachusetts)Adoption creates complex family dynamics that affect every adoptee, regardless of whether it was a "good" or "bad" adoptionMale adoptees often mask emotional trauma with anger, leading to their mental health needs being overlookedThe fear of rejection can drive major life decisions for adoptees well into adulthoodSociety's "grateful adoptee" narrative prevents honest discussions about adoption's psychological impactUnderstanding adoption trauma requires recognizing it as a neurological wound that occurs before conscious memoryGuest BioKey Topics DiscussedThe Open Adoption ExperienceThe Psychology of Adoption TraumaMen vs. Women: Different Responses to Adoption TraumaRelationship Challenges for Adopted MenThe "Grateful" NarrativeHistorical ContextKey QuotesResources MentionedEpisode Takeaways

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