Chapter 15: The Farewell Tour

18/08/2025 43 min

Listen "Chapter 15: The Farewell Tour"

Episode Synopsis

"Faith is one foot on the ground, one foot in the air, and a queasy feeling in the stomach.”—    Mother Angelica"I was eleven surgeries deep at this point, spanning over a period of eight years. I was having two to three operations every two years. The pain was obviously returning and it would not have been right to continue to put Bella and my family through this roller coaster ride of recoveries andunpredictable pain just to keep my hope of bearing a child alive. I imagine this must sound crazy to many who are aware of the amount of physical pain I endured over the years. Yes, I agree that the natural response would be to “please remove this prickly death monster organ, and do it yesterday.” But mywomb didn’t feel like just an organ, and it wasn’t, even as prickly as it was. It is the body part that God provides every woman with to physically nurture and protect the miracle of every single human life. It is priceless. And in as much as I feared the cyclic pain, I had become strangely comfortablewith it––preferring to experience that and the closeness it brought me with Jesus over parting with it, along with the aspiration of pregnancy. But at this point, clinging to that would have been selfish considering my long-term healthand all the other people who would continue to be affected. "