07: The 4 Step Apology To Make Things Right with Molly Howes

09/08/2022 33 min
07:  The 4 Step Apology To Make Things Right with Molly Howes

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Episode Synopsis

The truth is, we are hardwired as humans to not want to apologize. It is one of the most difficult things to do on a cultural and neurological level. Feeling as though we did something wrong and that we hurt someone is not the way we want to feel about ourselves, so in an instant our brain chooses to protect itself. However, what if apologizing was looked at through a different lens? What if we used apologies as a way to create better connections with a partner and make big changes that could help elevate relationships.There are so many misconceptions about apologizing, such as,  apologizing is a sign of weakness, when it is actually the total opposite and we want to tackle this issue on today’s podcast. Joining us today is Harvard trained clinical psychologist and author of ‘A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right’, Molly Howes. Molly walks us through why people don’t like to apologize and how we can overcome that by using her four steps to apologizing. She is here to educate us on the psychology behind apologizing, and how we can become better apologizers for us and our partners.Apologizing isn’t about who is right and who is wrong, it’s about building better connections and working as a team. With some introspection and the right tools, apologizing in a way that will help your relationship is possible. Tune in to hear how!Topics discussed in this episode:Why is it so hard to apologize?How to better understand your partner’s point of viewWhy is it easier to see other people’s mistakes rather than our own?What is forgiveness inflation?Why guilt is actually a good thingWhat is confirmation bias?Does being open help your partner open up?The need for responsibility and empathy in an apologyCreating a system to ensure to not hurt the otherBecoming a team with your partner for a mutually beneficial outcomeMyths about apologiesQuestions to ask to help your partner open upPurchase Molly's Book:  https://www.grandcentralpublishing.com/titles/molly-howes-phd/a-good-apology/9781538701317/Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.