The Support & Kindness Podcast – Episode 14

Title: Understanding Chronic Pain: Beyond Hurt
Recording date: December 6, 2025
Hosts: Greg (host), Rich, Jay, Derek, Sam


Important Disclaimer

None of the hosts are medical professionals. This episode offers education, validation, and peer support. It is not medical advice.

Always consult your healthcare provider before starting, stopping, or changing any treatment or medication.


Episode Overview

Chronic pain is much more than “something hurts.” It can change:


Your body
Your brain
Your relationships
Your work and finances
The way you see yourself and the world


In this episode, Greg and co‑hosts Rich, Jay, Derek, and Sam sit down for an honest, vulnerable conversation about:


What it’s really like to live with ongoing pain
What helps them keep going



What Is Chronic Pain?

Greg opens with a simple grounding definition:


Chronic pain = pain that lasts longer than normal healing time
Usually 3–6 months or more


It’s different from acute pain, which is your body’s early warning system that something is wrong.

When pain persists, the nervous system can become overly sensitive, so:


Ordinary sensations or minor activities can feel disproportionately painful.


Chronic pain doesn’t stay in one box. It can:

Impact on the Body



Weaken the immune system


Easier to get sick
Harder to recover



Affect heart and circulation


Higher blood pressure
Fatigue
Changes in heart rate



Disrupt digestion


Nausea
Appetite changes
Stomach issues



Change weight


Weight loss or weight gain
Often tied to changes in activity, appetite, and medication side effects



Affect breathing


Shallow, tight breathing
Especially when pain and anxiety show up together



Turn everyday tasks into major challenges


Walking, standing, cleaning, cooking, showering
On the worst days, even brushing your teeth or taking a shower can feel impossible



Force changes in hobbies and movement


Sports, crafts, music, and exercise may need to be:

Reduced
Adapted
Paused or stopped







How Chronic Pain Affects the Mind

Chronic pain doesn’t just live in the body. It also changes how the mind works.

Brain Fog & Concentration


Losing words mid‑sentence
Forgetting things
Struggling to focus on simple tasks


Decision Fatigue


Even small choices feel huge:

What to do next
Whether to go out
Whether to cook or order in




It can feel like climbing a mountain when you’re already exhausted.

Motivation Shifts


You may still want things
But feel too drained or overwhelmed to start


This often feeds:


Guilt
Shame
Self‑criticism


Especially in a world that celebrates “pushing through” pain instead of respecting limits.


Emotional & Social Impact

Greg and the co‑hosts talk about how chronic pain affects:


Emotions
Identity
Relationships


Common emotional and social impacts:

Anxiety & Stress


Fear of flare‑ups
Worries about the future, work, and money
Feeling like life is shrinking


Self‑Image & Self‑Esteem


Feeling “broken,” “lazy,” or “not enough”
Especially when people don’t understand or don’t believe you


Coping with Substances


Some people turn to alcohol or drugs trying to get relief
It’s completely understandable—and can still create serious problems later


Isolation


Canceling plans at the last minute
Missing family events
Leaving early to lie down
Withdrawing because you don’t want to disappoint people


Family Roles

When a partner, parent, or caregiver lives with pain, roles at home often shift.


This can be stressful for everyone involved


Intimacy

Physical closeness and sex can become:


Painful
Complicated
Hard to talk about


Even in loving relationships.

Work & Money


Missed days
Reduced hours
Losing a job entirely
Ongoing medical bills and treatment costs



The Invisible Side of Chronic Pain

One of the hardest parts, as Greg puts it, is that chronic pain is often invisible.

People around you might say:


“You don’t look sick.”
“You were fine yesterday.”
“It’s probably stress.”


Scans and blood tests may come back “normal” even when the pain is intense.

Pain is complex: it involves both body and brain, and current tests don’t capture everything.

Greg emphasizes:


“If you live with chronic pain, even if tests show nothing, your pain is still real. Your experience is valid and it matters. Not seeing anything on a scan doesn’t mean you’re imagining it or making it up.”



Co‑Host Stories & Key Insights

Greg invites each co‑host to share three things:


How their pain began
One emotional or social challenge
One practical strategy that helps them get through the day


Rich – Migraines, TBI, Missing Milestones

How it began:


Multiple car accidents as a teen
Layered on top of earlier sports concussions
Led to traumatic brain injuries, headaches, and migraines that still affect him decades later


Social/emotional impact:


Avoided concerts, sporting events, noisy environments
Light and sound could turn a headache into a full migraine
Missed holidays, left gatherings early, skipped “fun times” to lie down with a washcloth on his head


Rich shares:


“I missed a lot of memories and a lot of quality time with people, so I could sit back with a washcloth on my forehead… socially it takes a toll.”


Later in the episode, echoing something Sam said about people not wanting to hear about pain anymore, Rich adds:


“You say ‘my back hurts, my legs hurt, my joints hurt’ so many times that loved ones tune out… It’s isolating. It’s lonely.”


What helps Rich:


Staying hopeful and looking toward new treatments and medications
Reminding himself that advances in migraine and head injury care are happening all the time



Jay – Stomach Illness, Misdiagnosis, Stigma

How it began:


Lives with cyclical vomiting syndrome and cannabinoid hyperemesis
A condition where cannabis use can trigger severe vomiting episodes and hospitalizations


At 18, he went from an “iron stomach” (drinking beers, eating wings with friends) to his first episode, which he thought was the flu.


The vomiting wouldn’t stop → repeated ER visits → misdiagnoses
Eventually had a healthy gallbladder removed before doctors realized what was really happening


Social/emotional impact:


Frequent hospitalizations every few months
Dramatic weight loss and constant nausea


Because cannabinoid hyperemesis is triggered by cannabis use, he faced:


Stigma
Judgment


Even a doctor telling him not to come back to the ER for his condition.

This affected relationships, including his engagement:


Ongoing cannabis use plus repeated hospitalizations contributed to a breakup


Jay recalls:


“They even brought a security guard to escort me out… You wear out your welcome with medical professionals.”


What helps Jay:


Stopping cannabis use (several months at the time of the episode)

Significantly reduced preventable episodes


Hydrotherapy (warm baths) when his stomach flares
Breathing exercises and meditation, especially during the worst times
Peer support groups, including the podcast community and online support groups


Jay shares:


“Since I’ve had the groups with you fellas and the podcasts, I’ve really found the emotional pain has gotten a lot better. I feel included, loved… Support groups are there. They help a lot.”



Derek – TBI, Gait Changes, Finding Perspective

How it began:


Serious fall down a flight of stairs while drunk
Resulted in a traumatic brain injury
Months blurred by coma and heavy sedation


Physical impact:


Nerve damage near the hip
Affects gait and balance
Causes muscle compensation and persistent dull lower‑back pain
Sometimes avoids physical activities and games when he doesn’t feel “up to snuff”


Emotional impact:

After the injury:


Strong emotional volatility
Everything felt either extremely positive or extremely negative


Over time, he learned to:


“Simmer down”
Step back
Notice emotional swings instead of being swept away by them


What helps Derek:



An “amalgam of stretches,” combining:


Vinyasa yoga
Old cross‑country running routines



Walking, breathing, and listening to what his body says, including:


“Rest” when needed
Trusting his gut and second‑guessing himself less




Derek offers a powerful reframe of pain:


“Sometimes, even in the worst moods and the worst pain I’ve ever felt… I get solace from the ability to experience pain, considering how close I came to dying… At least you’re able to feel this. At least you’re not dead from the brain injury.”



Sam – Broken Back, Joint Damage, Addiction, Recovery

How it began:


Broke his back in his twenties when a roof caved in at work
Developed avascular necrosis (long‑bone joints not getting enough blood and starting to collapse)


Physical & medical journey:


Multiple joint replacements, including hips
Surgeries and long‑term pain led to:

Heavy opioid use
Later, heroin addiction




Now:


In recovery for 12 years
Learning to live with chronic pain without traditional pain medication
Supported by Suboxone for addiction recovery and some pain relief


Social/emotional impact:


At first, chronic pain consumed every conversation
People got tired of hearing how miserable he felt
He withdrew


He describes his body as feeling like it’s in “mutiny”:


Unpredictable
Unreliable


He spent time on the streets in active addiction before entering recovery.

What helps Sam:


Breathing and meditation
Jokes that he’s “late” to understanding how his brain works
Learning how the brain, chronic pain, and addiction intersect


Accepting that:


No amount of pain medication will erase everything
The focus is on management, not total elimination of pain


Sam sums it up:


“You don’t really ‘get over it.’ You learn to live with it and learn different coping strategies.”



Greg – Back Injury, Weight, Depression, Service

How it began:


Used to be the person at work who would lift anything heavy:

“If you can’t move it, go get Greg.”


Years of poor lifting technique
Larger body size
Pushing past pain with a “no pain, no gain” mindset
Eventually led to back injuries that never fully went away


Impact on life:


Cancelled plans → growing isolation
Worsening depression
Weight gain connected to:

Medication changes
Reduced activity
Feeling stuck in a vicious cycle:

Pain → inactivity → low mood → isolation → more pain






What helps Greg:



Distraction and purpose, like:


A daily “Creative Work Hour”—a virtual coworking group that became a “second family”



Gratitude practices focused on:


What’s still possible
What’s going right, even on hard days



Service work in recovery communities (such as Alcoholics Anonymous)


Getting out of his own head by helping others



Greg shares:


“These groups have helped tremendously… To anyone listening who lives with chronic pain, you’re not alone and your experience matters. It’s okay to take one step at a time.”



Key Takeaways from the Conversation



Your pain is real even if tests are “normal.”


Chronic pain affects:


Body
Mind
Emotions
Relationships
Finances



It is completely reasonable to feel overwhelmed.



People with chronic pain often feel:


Invalidated
Tuned out by loved ones
Dismissed by professionals


This creates deep loneliness.

There is no single cure for most chronic pain conditions.
Most people use a mix of tools, such as:


Medical care (as needed)
Pacing activity and planning
Gentle movement and/or physical therapy
Mental health strategies
Sleep habits
Community and peer support
Self‑advocacy to help be heard:

Tracking symptoms
Preparing questions
Bringing notes to appointments




Peer support matters.
The hosts repeatedly mention community and support groups as key to reducing emotional pain and isolation.


Practical Strategies You Can Try (If You Have the Capacity)

Greg wraps up with gentle, practical ideas—not prescriptions, just options to explore if they feel doable.

1. Start a One‑Page Pain & Activity Log

Each day, jot down:


Date
Pain level (0–10)
Main activities
How you slept
One small change you might try next time


This can help you spot patterns and triggers over time.


2. Pick a Five‑Minute Grounding Routine for Flare Days

Examples:


Slow, deep breathing
A gentle body scan
Noticing sensations without judgment (temperature, pressure, texture)


The goal is not to erase pain, but to give your nervous system a brief moment of calm.


3. Set One Tiny Movement Goal for the Week

Keep it small and realistic. For example:


3 × 10‑minute gentle walks per week
A daily 2‑minute mobility or stretching routine
Standing and stretching for one commercial break or between tasks


Tiny, consistent changes often work better than big, unsustainable pushes.


4. Choose One Supportive Person & Create a Simple Signal

Pick someone you trust and agree on:


A signal (a text emoji, code word, or short phrase)
A short script you use when you need to cancel plans


That way, you don’t have to explain everything every time.


Validation & Encouragement


If you live with chronic pain, you did not cause this.
Needing rest or help does not make you weak.
Small, consistent habits plus supportive people can make a real difference over time.



National & International Resources for People with Pain

(All websites confirmed to have an active web presence as of December 7, 2025.)

United States & International



U.S. Pain Foundation – Education, advocacy, peer support programs (including Pain Connection).
https://uspainfoundation.org


Chronic Pain Anonymous (CPA) – 12‑step style fellowship for people living with chronic pain and illness.
https://chronicpainanonymous.org


American Chronic Pain Association (ACPA) – Peer support, self‑management tools, resources.
https://www.acpanow.com


National Pain Advocacy Center (NPAC) – Policy and civil‑rights advocacy for people living with pain.
https://nationalpain.org


Chronic Pain Research Alliance (CPRA) – Research‑focused coalition on complex chronic pain conditions.
https://chronicpainresearch.org


International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) – Global pain research, education, and resources.
https://www.iasp-pain.org


Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ) – Evidence‑based patient guides and healthcare resources.
https://www.ahrq.gov


American Society for Pain Management Nursing (ASPMN) – Nursing education and best practices.
https://www.aspmn.org




Canada & Regional



Canadian Pain Society – Professional society with advocacy and educational resources for patients and clinicians.
https://www.canadianpainsociety.ca


Pain BC – Resources, programs, and a Pain Support Line for people in British Columbia (many tools helpful elsewhere).
https://painbc.ca




Condition‑Specific Resources



Arthritis Foundation – Support, education, and advocacy for people living with arthritis.
https://www.arthritis.org


American Migraine Foundation – Education, research, and support for people living with migraine.
https://americanmigrainefoundation.org


National Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Association (NFMCPA) – Support and advocacy for people with fibromyalgia and chronic pain.
https://www.fmcpaware.org


Foundation for Peripheral Neuropathy – Education, research, and patient support for peripheral neuropathy.
https://www.foundationforpn.org




Apps & Digital Tools


Always check with your healthcare provider before making changes to your care or relying heavily on an app.


Symptom & Pain Tracking



Bearable – Symptom, mood, and habit tracker to spot patterns and triggers.
https://bearable.app


mySymptoms Food Diary & Symptom Tracker – Helps identify links between food and digestive symptoms.
https://www.mysymptoms.net


Health Storylines – Track symptoms, medications, and daily health data; create summaries to share.
https://www.healthstorylines.com


PainScale (Pain.com) – Pain diary and education platform developed in collaboration with Boston Scientific.
General info:
https://www.pain.com/en/personal-support-resources/tools-you-can-use/pain-management-apps/painscale-app.html



Pain Education & Coping



Curable – Biopsychosocial pain‑education and coping app using mind–body approaches.
https://www.curablehealth.com


Pathways Pain Relief – Education, physiotherapy, mindfulness, and CBT‑based tools for chronic pain.
https://www.pathways.health


Pain Coach (VA) – Free app from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs / National Center for PTSD to help manage chronic pain.
https://mobile.va.gov/app/pain-coach



Mindfulness & Sleep

Many mindfulness apps include meditations and series specifically for pain, stress, and sleep. Examples:


Headspace
Calm
Insight Timer
Oak


Search your device’s app store for:


“Pain”
“Chronic pain”
“Sleep”
“Stress relief”


Cannabis Tracking


Releaf App – For people using medical cannabis who want to track products, doses, and effects.
https://releafapp.com



Directories & Global Initiatives



Organizations Dedicated to People with Pain – A directory curated by the American Academy of Pain Medicine.
https://painmed.org/organizations-dedicated-to-people-with-pain/


IASP Global Year – Annual global campaign focusing on a specific aspect of pain care.
2025 campaign focuses on pain management, research, and education in low‑ and middle‑income settings.
https://www.iasp-pain.org/advocacy/global-year/




Free Online Support Groups (Hosted by KindnessRX.org)

If you’d like a safe, supportive space to talk with others who truly understand what it’s like to live with:


Chronic pain
Brain injury
Mental health challenges


Greg and the team host several free online peer support groups each week.

📅 Kindness RX Support Groups Calendar (Luma)
View the full schedule and sign up directly here:

👉 https://luma.com/calendar/cal-oyT0VPlVTKCPxBw

From that page, you can:


See upcoming groups

Including Chronic Pain, Brain Injury, and Mental Health support groups


Check times in your local time zone
Register for individual sessions


You can also learn about the broader KindnessRX.org community resources here:


Main site: https://kindnessrx.org
Support groups overview: https://kindnessrx.org/support-groups/



Call to Action

If this episode helped you or someone you care about:


Subscribe to The Support & Kindness Podcast in your favorite podcast app.
Leave a rating and review – it genuinely helps others find the show.
Share the episode with a friend, family member, or clinician who might benefit.
Reach out:

Send feedback, resources, or your story to: [email protected]
Let the team know what resonated and what topics you’d like to hear next.





Closing Thought

Greg:


“Thank you for listening to The Support & Kindness Podcast. Join us next time for another inspiring conversation. Until then, take care.”

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