This is episode 10—a milestone that's making me nervous as hell right now. I get the heebie-jeebies every time I sit down to record. I turn into a motor mouth. I overthink every word. And that's exactly what this episode is about: the harder you try, the worse it gets.Forty-five minutes after meditating, I flipped off a driver and almost caused an accident. When I practice meditation too tightly, thoughts flood in more intensely. When I force myself to win at Overwatch, I choke under pressure and ruin gaming with my wife. When I strived for 15 years in sales, I burned out completely. When I've tried too hard to shape my oldest son into what I wanted him to be instead of who he is, I damaged our relationship. And now, working 60+ hours a week doing gig work—making less money than ever while striving harder than ever—I'm facing the paradox: I can't afford to rest, and I can't afford not to rest.This episode explores the difference between effort and striving, virya (spiritual enthusiasm) and wu wei (effortless action), the middle way between too tight and too loose. We discuss the Buddha's lute string parable told to the monk Sona who practiced so zealously he wore himself out, Milarepa placing his head in the demon's mouth, the Taoist archer who goes blind when shooting for gold, the Zhuangzi story about skill changing when the prize divides you, my five-year-old dream of walking up to the panther in my closet, and why thinking you're the one doing it means you're lost.Featuring wisdom on beginner's mind (that first vivid Taco Bell delivery), the wave at sporting events (are you separate from the universe or is the universe waving as you?), Moses saying "Yahweh will fight for you, you need only be still," Krishna's teaching on releasing fruits of action, Gandalf's "all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us," the hymn "lay your deadly doing down," Psalm 46 "be still and know," Isaiah on "in returning and rest you shall be saved," and Job on asking the animals what they know.I'm recording this on August 26th, not knowing if I'll make rent on September 1st. My Southwest gas bill might get shut off in two days. I need to apply for jobs and leave gig work after 8 years. But right now, as I record this, I'm choosing to be with Batman (my son) rescuing me as a hostage instead of being in my head about the shit storm outside. That's the practice.If you've ever tried so hard you snapped, burned out from endless striving, or wondered how to show up fully without being attached to outcomes—this one's for you.Want to share a thought?Support the show🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/standingnowhere🎧 Listen on your favorite app💬 Join our community on Discord📩 Email: [email protected](Tap “Support the show” above to become a Patron — thank you!)

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