Now one of those topics that has really captured my mind of late has been this topic of agreeableness, I mean with the first time I heard about agreeableness, I think I must say I was really fascinated with I saw myself a lot in in that, and I just want to start off by just describing what agreeableness is first and then take it, take it from there. Now, in psychology, agreeableness is defined as the people who have high potential to put the needs of others above that of their own, and overall agreeableness describes a person's ability to put other people's needs above their own. For instance, people who have a heart who are high in agreeableness, naturally experience empathy and tend to get tremendous pleasure from serving others, and taking care of them. So as you can see it normally comes from a very good place. It comes from a place of wanting to be of good service, especially to those that you are in a relationship, who are meaningful to you, and of course those who are around you. So as a result a New York index something that I call the index of empathy is a high and it is combined with that ability then to adjust yourself mentally and emotionally and physically make space for others, in, in around your own space. So then that makes them the people like that if you are the kind of person, it means that you are then more prone to agree with others considering their feelings, often, often at the expense of your own position or even your own feelings. In situations where it even contradicts your own position, So you find yourself for example, agreeing agreeing to, let's say you're not somebody who drinks a lot of my alcohol that much you can find yourself agreeing to go with your friend or with your friends to a bar to go hang around there because you don't want to offend them. Or you can even have read to certain expenses that you're not used to and are planning to spend on, even if it puts your financial pocket in a negative light or even if it's kind of like evil, it's gonna present strub trouble for you later on in the future so agreeable people then tend to say yes when they don't even bring in, when they are not in agreement with a lot of stuff. And this then tends to create incongruence, which means that there is that mental misalignment of thought, between your own mind and your emotions are when this happens and you find yourself and in that consistent state of cognitive dissonance is another psychological term, which just simply describes this state of being a state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change, and the longer and more regularly we stay in that state, we create self doubt and we disempower our ability to trust your own decisions. And so you find that in situations where you are having to make an important decisions because you're so used to making decisions, in, in contrast to what others think. Then you find that you're not confident in making your own decisions, then you will you will over consult your consultant to many people and then end up in a situation where you've got so much information, struggling to figure out who is it that I'm going to agree with, who am I going to offend if I go this way, who's not going to be offended. And then it's like you're in the operating and it's at this high level of emotional and mental tension. And in the end you don't even know what you want as a person and I find that if I'm in a situation where I'm dealing with a group of people, they struggle to make a decision, they'll always want you to make a decision informed or ask you what you think is what must I do, and why must I started what steps must I take and how long must it be, what is the formula. So always looking for something that can prescribe what they do so in that way they don't have to make their own decisions than to offend. Another person.

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