How to Unlock Your Inner Strength: My Journey to Discovering Self-Worth
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think," says Christopher Robins to Winnie the Pooh. Christopher Robins is talking to Winnie the Pooh about self-worth, which is today’s topic.
Self-worth means knowing and feeling valuable and deserving of love, respect, and happiness just because you're you. It's firmly believing in yourself, accepting who you are, and recognizing your unique qualities, even if others don't see them. It's about feeling good on the inside, no matter what happens on the outside.
Up until my sixty-fifth birthday, I struggled profoundly with my self-worth, constantly seeking validation through pleasing others. I lived a life shaped by the needs and expectations of those around me, especially my mother. I sacrificed my desires and needs to cater to others. But in doing so, I lost sight of myself. Every attempt to prioritize my happiness was met with accusations of selfishness and unkindness.
My mother raised me to look after her needs and listen to her problems. If I asked for help or support, I was told I was selfish and unkind. I was raised where love was conditional. I remember this one day when I asked for my Mom’s help. She looked directly at me, pointed her finger and said in an angry tone, “And what are you going to do for me.” From that day forward, I stopped asking anyone for help. 
Yet, even when everything was hard, I still believed in something bigger than myself. I wasn't into religion, but I knew a powerful force existed. When I felt sad or scared, I'd ask for help, hoping to find peace amid all the chaos and turmoil around me.
At the age of eighteen, I married my husband. I went from looking after my mother's and siblings' needs to my husband’s. Again, I put my needs on the back burner because I didn’t want to come across as selfish. 
I had three children by the age of twenty-five. Now, I had more needs to fulfill by raising them. I felt guilty when I needed a mental health break. Or when I spent money on myself for a manicure that would make me feel good. I didn’t have anyone telling me to look after myself. 
And then, suddenly, our kids were moved out, building their lives and having children. They are at an age where being with their friends is more cool. They don’t want to hang out with their parents or grandparents. I get it, and I bless them every day. But I found myself with all this time and thinking about everything I hadn’t done. That is where I found myself on my sixty-fifth birthday. I didn’t want to die with regrets. 
I have been aware of wanting to be a better person my whole life, maybe because others quickly pointed out my faults. So, I spent years and years doing self-help courses but getting the same results. I was still a people pleaser. I still had anxiety and bouts of depression and overwhelm. I didn’t want to be on my deathbed with regrets that I hadn’t started that podcast; I didn’t take that trip alone to empower myself. 
And so I made a decision. I was going to be selfish. If that is what people wanted to think, so be it. I was going to put the oxygen mask on myself....

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