Why does something that happened years ago still show up in the bedroom today? Why can you trust your partner completely, and still feel yourself pull away the moment intimacy begins? And why, when all you want is closeness, does your body react as if it’s still living in the past?



In this Language of Love Session, I respond to two heartfelt listener questions that touch on some of the most vulnerable parts of our intimate lives.



The first comes from Renee, who shared that after experiencing sexual trauma years ago, she still finds herself freezing or dissociating during intimacy even with a partner she deeply trusts. I talk about why this happens, why it’s actually a normal and adaptive response, and the steps you can take to reconnect with your body. 



The second question comes from Angel, who admitted she’s always been shy about talking about sex, even though she has desires and fantasies she wants to explore. I offer concrete strategies for starting those vulnerable, exciting conversations with a partner in a way that feels safe and empowering.



In this episode, you’ll hear me share:


Why dissociation during intimacy is a normal trauma response and how healing begins

Somatic practices that can help you stay grounded in your body

Gentle ways to reintroduce intimacy after trauma

A three-column exercise to let go of shame and reclaim your desires

How to talk to your partner about fantasies and needs without fear




If you’d like me to answer your question on a future episode, email me at [email protected]



Don’t forget to check out: The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, the Hakomi Institute for locating Somatic Experiencing therapists, and traumahealing.org, which offers a full directory of practitioners.
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