Today’s episode covers why grief and the new normal is so tough.  We know it’s hard, living this new life without our person, but we don’t always think about all the little things that feed into that.  
Grief is about embracing the concept of AND not OR.  
You now live a life with an evident and strange duality…
The past two weeks have been incredibly challenging for me.  I’ve experienced some real highs and lows, which painfully remind me how much grief changes every little thing about our lives.
 
As we experience grief, we no longer are naive to the fragility of life.  That everything can be snatched away from us and changed in an instant.  Our hopes, our dreams, our plans… all gone.
 
We value the little things more, may be less easily offended or annoyed, and focus on the bigger picture of things. 
 
Challenges with grief and the new normal examples:
 

Secondary grief 

Another death of a loved one/significant loss

Happy and sad 

Happy during positive events and milestone moments while sad 
Kids band concert on Tuesday
Accomplished a major life goal - obituary for mom
Weekend Dallas trip

Be strong and minimize expectations 

Trip to the Emergency Department
Spring break reschedules
Losing water/flooded in- asking to use someone’s shower
Driving back from Dallas and car overheats

Loving one person and being able to love someone else

People think you’ve forgotten that person
Think you can’t love both



Monday, 3/13:

Feeling ill most of the day 
Learned my mother had died unexpectedly
Her death was similar to Nathan's, bringing up a lot of mixed emotions

 
Tuesday:

Felt better physically, just out of it
A busy day with errands
Band concert performed by the kids at school (yay)
Sad Nathan wasn't there
The loss of my mom was in the back of my mind

 
Wednesday:

Accomplished a major life goal
Sad Nathan wasn't there - it felt strange
Wrote the obituary for my mom
Took the kids on a road trip to watch Hamilton (cried)
Got home at 1 am and was exhausted

 
Thursday:

Downtime (finally)
Rested most of the day
Picked up groceries and made dinner

 
Friday:

Helped my son pick up some furniture and set it up
Packed for a weekend trip (already planned)
Drove 5 hours with my daughter to Dallas
Had the best dream/conversation I've had with Nathan to date 

 
Saturday/Sunday:

Activities with my daughter

 
Monday (3/20):

Stopped by a few stores in Dallas
Drove 4 hours home
Car engine overheated and had to leave it at a repair shop an hour away
Son picked us up and brought us home

Wednesday:

Trip to the Emergency Department
Had to reschedule kids’ activities for Thursday/Friday

Thursday:

Gentle, fun day with the kids

Friday:

Thunderstorms and torrential rain all day
Flooded in
Lost running water after 5 pm
Without water for 3 days

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