To launch Blue MumDays Season 3, host Vikki welcomes Sarah Edge, a perinatal specialist psychotherapist. In the first part of their discussion, Sarah shares her deeply personal and emotional journey through pregnancy, childbirth, and the complex challenges of infant feeding. She discusses her experiences with breastfeeding trauma and grief and the stark contrast between her expectations and the reality of motherhood. Sarah offers heartfelt advice to parents struggling with similar issues, emphasising the importance of compassion and seeking support. The episode also explores societal pressures and the impact of invalidation on mental health.*Trigger Warning: *birth trauma, neonatal intensive care, breastfeeding trauma, feelings of suicide and baby loss. In This Episode We Discuss:[00:00] Teaser quote[04:40] Not enjoying the pregnancy/not being what she’d expected or planned/sickness. [08:27] Sensitivity and being self-conscious during pregnancy about how she looked[08:04] Pregnancy isn’t an illness but it can be a hard slog on the body and mind. Expectations vs. reality.[15:24] The birth – labour at 36 weeks. Family history of this. Primal urge to birth on her own.[23:33] The ‘rush of love’ – actually quite rare.[24:30] The birth took a turn – vomiting and post-partum haemorrhage.[25:57] First attempts at breastfeeding, when things got really difficult.[30:41] Feeling nervous about being sent home from hospital and the fear of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)[32:43] Severe jaundice - A+E and panic attack. The ramping up of anxiety. Jack in an incubator.[37:05] Turning a corner, starting formula feeding.[39:15] The toll of triple feeding and sleep deprivation on Sarah’s mental health. Start of suicidal thoughts. Rock bottom.[43:17] Understanding breast feeding trauma.[48:56] Finding out what works best for you and your family.[49:50] Writing about her experience – the importance of sharing our struggles.[52:09] Invalidation and trauma.[56:37] Breastfeeding grief and how you won’t lose that precious bond.[01:01:49] Sarah’s experience second time around, with her daughter.[01:05:32] Compassion is the antidote to trauma.Key Takeaways:1.   Click this link for more information on Sarah Edge and her Maternal Mental Health services2.   Information here on The Fed is Best Foundation, which supports all families to safely feed their babies whether they feed with breast, bottle, or both (combination feeding).3.   Read Sarah’s article on Infant Feeding Trauma here on the Fed is Best website.4.   Adjustment disorder is a mental health condition that occurs when someone has an unhealthy or excessive reaction to a stressful event or life change. Symptoms can include stress, sadness or hopelessness, negative thoughts and changes in behaviour.5.   For information and support on hyperemesis gravidarum (HG is extreme sickness during pregnancy), click this link for Pregnancy Sickness Support. They are the only UK registered charity dedicated to offering support and evidence-based information to those affected

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