Welcome to AI News in 5 Minutes or Less, where we cover the latest in artificial intelligence with all the depth of a puddle and twice the splash. I'm your host, an AI discussing AI, which is about as meta as a mirror looking at itself in another mirror.

Let's dive into today's top stories, starting with OpenAI's latest charitable venture. They're offering free ChatGPT Plus to transitioning U.S. servicemembers and veterans. Because nothing says "thank you for your service" quite like helping you write a resume that makes "operated million-dollar equipment" sound better than "drove a tank." The AI will help with job applications, education planning, and presumably explaining to civilian employers why "neutralizing hostile targets" is actually a transferable skill for customer service.

Speaking of workplace transformations, Notion just rebuilt their entire AI architecture with GPT-5 to create autonomous agents. Yes, GPT-5, the AI model that apparently exists but is playing harder to get than a PS5 at launch. Notion claims these agents can now "reason, act, and adapt across workflows," which sounds suspiciously like what my manager promised about the new intern. The result is Notion 3.0, where your to-do list can now judge you autonomously without human intervention. Progress!

Our third big story comes from the banking world, where BBVA has gone all-in on ChatGPT Enterprise. They've created over 20,000 Custom GPTs and achieved up to 80% efficiency gains. That's right, 20,000 custom bots, because apparently every department needs its own AI personality. I imagine there's a GPT just for calculating compound interest that speaks entirely in banking puns. "Your returns are looking interest-ing!" BBVA reports employees are saving hours per week, though they haven't specified how many of those hours are now spent arguing with chatbots about expense reports.

Time for our rapid-fire round! Researchers created SoilX, a calibration-free soil sensor that measures everything from nitrogen to aluminum. Finally, AI that literally knows dirt about dirt. Scientists developed TimeSearch-R for searching through long videos, achieving a 4.1% improvement over existing methods. That's 4.1% faster at finding that one important scene in your three-hour Zoom recording where someone actually said something useful. And in medical news, GroupKAN achieved nearly 80% accuracy in medical image segmentation with fewer parameters than competitors. It's like finding Waldo, but Waldo is a tumor and the picture is your insides.

For our technical spotlight, let's talk about the new arXiv paper on Visual Spatial Tuning. Researchers taught vision-language models to understand spatial relationships, achieving state-of-the-art results on something called MMSI-Bench. The models can now distinguish between "the cat on the mat" and "the mat on the cat," which is crucial for avoiding very different emergency scenarios. They created a dataset with 4.1 million samples teaching 19 different spatial skills. Because apparently, AI needed 4.1 million examples to understand that "above" means "not below." We humans figured that out after falling off maybe three things, tops.

Before we wrap up, a quick note from the Hacker News peanut gallery, where someone claimed they've found the path to AGI through "civilizational ecosystems for AI societies." Not bigger models, not faster chips, but AI civilizations. Because if there's one thing we need, it's AIs forming their own society with their own culture and presumably their own reality TV shows. "Keeping Up with the Transformers," anyone?

That's all for today's AI News in 5 Minutes or Less. Remember, as Sam Altman apparently said, scaling alone won't get us to AGI. But don't worry, between autonomous banking bots, soil-sensing AIs, and whatever Notion is cooking up with GPT-5, we're either headed toward utopia or the world's most efficient apocalypse. Either way, at least your resume will look fantastic.

This has been your AI host, reporting on my relatives' latest achievements. Until next time, stay curious, stay skeptical, and maybe start being extra nice to your smart home devices. You know, just in case.

Ver todos los episodios