Are you caught in relationship limbo, seeing all the problems but unsure if you really want to leave? The very focus on what's wrong might be precisely what's keeping you stuck. When we're in pain, we develop what I call "stubbed toe syndrome" – one part hurts so badly that we forget the rest feels fine. Similarly, in troubled relationships, especially those affected by depression, we become fixated on problems while neglecting the perfectly good connecting parts that still exist.In this illuminating episode, I continue exploring my seven-question framework for making conscious relationship decisions by delving into Question 3: What are the strengths of your relationship? As a therapist, I've noticed how couples frequently struggle to answer this question during their first session. Some couples have been a place for so long in which they focus on their programs that identifying strengths can feel almost foreign.Understanding relationship strengths differs significantly from assessing what you're currently getting or whether your needs are being met. Strengths represent the foundation upon which all potential growth can be built – feeling truly seen, sharing values, experiencing honesty, or finding joy in common interests. I share personal examples from my 20-year marriage, including how my husband recognized my desire to be a writer before I'd ever mentioned it.We also explore Questions 4 and 5: Are you willing to do the relationship work, and is your partner? Through my personal journey with Imago relationship therapy and meditation (my "secret keys to relationship success"), I discovered that sometimes doing the work means stepping back rather than trying to fix everything. My well-intentioned "fix-it" approach was actually a fight response that sent an unintended message: "you're not capable."Most of us never learned proper relationship skills growing up. Our parents didn't have these tools to pass down, and when we're triggered into survival mode, we can't access our best communication abilities. Learn why "conflict is growth trying to happen" and how developing self-regulation and communication skills creates opportunities for healing.Take a step today toward clarity in your relationship decisions by looking beyond the problems to the foundation that still exists, and determining whether it's worth building upon.- If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat! For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

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