Revisiting a place where one has one's roots is tricky business.
 
On the one hand, there is enough familiarity - relatives, school chums as unrecognisable adults, hazy lines of playgrounds, peacocks, changing views from rooftops, familiar cracks now deeper - and on the other, one enters the familiar as a complete stranger. The air is lighter, the light is sharper, the language is alien in spite of familiar intonations, and one sits on judgement. And a sense of superiority emerges - as if the place I've settled in is not only different, but also way 'ahead', whatever the meaning of that word is.
 
But the bigger tragedy is how we look at what was hometown, nay home, is now a place to judge, to compare, to find it falling short.
 
We move on in life - whether it indicates moving forward is a moot point. What does linger is what we leave behind. Sometimes as a place stuck in a time-wrap, sometimes merely reluctant to find new beats, happy in its anachronisms. Sometimes as people, who are happy to remain what they are, tiny dreams ensconced in comfortable immobility. And that is a choice to be happy in one's own quiddities, within one's particularities.
 
And who are we to judge, just because we have found different dreams, racier trajectories, more informed choices. If finally what we as human beings seek is serenity and fulfilment, how do we even know whether that is there in the places and people we have left behind?
 
In our desire to know ourselves better, it is often a good idea to haul ourselves back to our roots, and then just sit back and see ourselves implode, explode, sink or float. If nothing else, we will get to know ourselves better.
 

If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on the ways we find and lose homes - 

Finding Home in Broken Places
Finally Home
A Home as an Open Dream


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The details of the music used in this episode are as follows -

Rising Sun by Sascha Ende

Link: https://filmmusic.io/en/song/Rising-Sun
Licence:  https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

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