You Just Need To Be In A Calorie Deficit – The F**kery of Peri-Menopause Advice

15/07/2025 4 min Temporada 5 Episodio 2
You Just Need To Be In A Calorie Deficit – The F**kery of Peri-Menopause Advice

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Episode Synopsis

The journey through perimenopause is unique for every woman, yet the unsolicited and contrary advice remains universal. This was the inspiration for my latest poem, which is part of a book of poetry in which I’m documenting the entire perimenopause journey from beginning to end.What makes perimenopause so challenging isn’t just the physical symptoms – the hormonal fluctuations, the muscle mass changes – but the barrage of contradictory advice from people who often have no personal experience with it. From well-meaning friends suggesting I drink my own piss, to fitness bros blindly prescribing calorie deficits and skipping meals, the poem highlights the absurdity of simplistic solutions to this multi-faceted physiological transition.The journey through perimenopause, like other significant life transitions, ultimately belongs to the person experiencing it, and external perspectives – however well-intentioned – need to be filtered through our intuition.Ugh, where do I start….?The flurry of adviceFrom uninformed folkWho all have their priceEstrogen is droppingYour bones will crumble!Drink loads of milkOr take a tumbleIngest creatine nowOr lose all your muscleYou should intermittent fast!There’s no end to this hustleEat chunks of proteinAt every single mealEventually, it’ll kill youAll that dairy, tofu and veal“Hey” someone whispers“You should drink your own piss“So I squat over a glass *Gulp*Alright then, come give us a kiss!But my all-time favouriteIs from the 30-something broYou wanna lose weight?His face starts to glowAh, he squints,Like he’s about to shit goldYou just need to be in a calorie deficit!Seriously, this never gets old?Oh! I exclaimWhy didn’t I think of that?!Thank you so much bruhYou dumb little twatHe no longer existsThat poor, sweet boyWho made the mistakeOf thinking I was old & coyBut seriously thoughThis is not about bro’sIt’s the not-so-miracle adviceThat you can stick it up your……noseTo give you a vague ideaOf what it’s like to be in periPut a blindfold onAnd navigate the contraryThe vitamins, the supplementsThe creams and the spraysCan all just f**k offI don’t care what anyone saysMy body is my bodyMy age is my ageMy intuition rulesAnd THAT’S my primary gaugeBY MELANIE SWANSend us a text Support the showMelanie is an experienced Soul & Shadow Worker, Womb Medicine Woman, podcast host, writer and trainer. For over 20 years, she has supported individuals and healing professionals to restore connection with the body, repair attachment and separation wounds, and embody primordial wisdom rooted in the womb, heart and soul. Melanie's approach blends somatic womb healing, shadow integration, shamanic healing and soul-level repatterning - offering a deep and lasting pathway back to the true self. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast, leads The Womb Medicine Woman Training and is currently writing her first book: The Sacred Womb - a handbook for coming home to our true nature, along with Poems For Peri-Menopause.

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