What does it take for a successful, functional addict to finally surrender and ask for help?Tom Lyman, a men’s life coach and founder of The Joy Hour, shares his raw and powerful story of a 12-year battle with addiction, adultery, and a double life that nearly cost him everything. He reveals the pivotal moment in his backyard on Thanksgiving that became his "rock foundation," the humbling journey through rehab, and how he rebuilt his marriage and discovered his true purpose.This is a candid conversation about the destructive power of ego, the life-saving act of surrender, and the transformative power of creating connection to replace isolation.In this episode, you’ll discover:1. The stark difference between a "rock bottom" and a "rock foundation."2. Why it's so difficult for high-achieving men to ask for help and how to overcome it.3. How Tom’s wife’s ultimatum, delivered with love, became the catalyst for change.4. The birth of "The Joy Hour"—a sober, connection-based movement that grew from 30 to 200 people in a month.5. Tom’s "Recovery, Discovery, Action" framework for building a life of purpose beyond addiction.Key Takeaways:1. Functional Isn't Fine: You can have the big house, cars, and business success while your private life is crumbling. External success often masks internal pain.2. Humble Yourself or Be Humbled: The ego that built your success can prevent you from getting the help you need. Surrender is a strength, not a weakness.3. Connection is the Antidote: Mental health and addiction struggles worsen in isolation and improve through connection. Your environment is everything.4. Your Receipts and Timestamp Don't Lie: To see what you truly value, look objectively at how you spend your money and your time.5. Recovery → Discovery → Action = Purpose: Healing is the first step. Then you must discover your gifts and, most importantly, take bold action to live them out.Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction to Tom Lyman00:56 - The pivotal Thanksgiving 2021 rock bottom moment03:17 - The functional addict facade: Maintaining a double life05:27 - The moment his wife said "I can't do it anymore"07:15 - The humbling experience of (paid) outpatient rehab09:40 - How ego prevents men from asking for help11:25 - The miraculous restoration of his marriage and family13:23 - The origin story of "The Joy Hour"16:05 - How a sober party became a movement for mental health and connection19:36 - [Mid-roll Ad] The Rinse Method21:06 - How Joy Hour creates organic support networks22:12 - A powerful story: How connection replaced anxiety medication23:42 - Tom’s philosophy on identity: "I had addictions; I am not an addict."25:33 - The Recovery, Discovery, Action framework explained29:31 - Redefining success: It’s not the cars or the money32:00 - Balancing external success with internal peace32:58 - The critical question: "What is your WHY?"35:12 - Steve Jobs' regret: "I've had very little joy."36:05 - One piece of advice for starting your journey: Pen and Paper38:57 - The power of auditing your time and spending41:52 - Where to find Tom Lyman and The Joy HourConnect with Tom Lyman:Website: https://tomlyman.com/ (Coming Soon)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomthejoyhourguy/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tom-lyman-4a0b31230/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JoyHourShow
CONNECT WITH IAN BOWEN:Website: https://thepositivepersistence.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianrbowen/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ianrbowenYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PositivePersistence-ch8fk Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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