Kristy is a private practice counsellor and professional supervisor providing debriefing for other counsellors, Pastors, and Chaplains. She has been married to her husband Dave for 24 years. Today we chat about what lead Kristy to become a counsellor, what it was like entering a marriage as 2 people coming from difficult, childhoods with a lack of example for what makes a good marriage, and how they stayed together through the challenges.  In part 2 we talk about the vision that God gave Kristy when she was just a teenager that would one day lead her to Ukraine to help save little orphan babies and help rescue girls from sex slavery.    And finally we talk about how they ended up with 10 years age gap between their 2nd and  3rd child and what it was like raising teenagers and a toddler at the same time. Please note: This was my first remote interview and I have since learned a better way to do it so as to improve the audio quality. Thank you for being gracious with me! Some take aways and what we covered: When people keep coming to you “you owe it to yourself to get some good skills.”Mum struggled with Bipolar. Unstable upbringing. Chronically sick father constantly fighting for his life and with depression. Internalised her problems. Forced to grow up quickly. The importance of extended family when growing up. Both her and husband grew up with rough start with unhealthy relationship examples. How they prepared for marriage. The importance of working through the issues that create relationship breakdown. Going into a relationship with her now husband, the concerns that she would repeat the mistakes of her parents. Parents never argued, just walked away so she wanted to talk about everything. She overcompensated by not letting anything slide and nitpicked about everything.They were prepared to do whatever it took to make their marriage work. “Dave’s not perfect and neither am I but you’ve just got to look beyond what’s happening and see the heart that’s beneath it. And then you’ve got something to work with again.” “Get back to the heart of who the person is and what they’re trying to achieve and accomplish for the family.”“Emotional comes and goes. How we treat each other when we are emotional is another thing altogether.”Not to expect perfection from our spouse because they’re just fallen broken people doing their best. The fairy tale expectations that there is going to be a happily ever after can set us up for a lot of disillusionment. Only Jesus can be perfect for us. How hard it can be admitting you need help with your marriage and going to a counsellor or someone to talk to, especially if you are in a position of leadership or ministry. Important to speak to someone trustworthy.  Get in touch with me at www.melanielynam.com Support the show (http://paypal.me/thefulllifepodcast)

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