After many failed attempts over several years, Col finally quit smoking with 13 durries to go. 
Smoking killed our dad, but that wasn't enough to make him stop. And my strong condemnation actively worked *against* his intention to quit. What’s that about??
Decisions clouded with shame often feel like they happen in closed-off parts of our brain. And it’s not only habits like smoking that are addictive. Work routines, negative relationship patterns, self sabotage, imposter syndrome, procrastination. There are lots of ways to be an addict. They’re often destructive, and we wish we behaved differently. 
One day, Col DID quit smoking. With thirteen cigarettes still in the pack.
He smoked them. And never smoked another.
Why was this time different?

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