Come meet a dad who is raising 9 kids, yes you heard me right, 9 kids! I wasn't sure how it was even possible to raise 9 kids! In this episode you will hear me pick his brain on how he balances faith, career and family. If you like stories, this will be a great episode for you.Casey Stubbs is not only a very busy dad and devoted husband, but in his professional life he’s passionate about helping dads find financial freedom and even replace their income.Special thanks to Smile Online Course & Books for sponsoring this episode. To learn more visit: https://thefatherhoodchallenge--smileteenskills.thrivecart.com/social-career-skills-accelerator/Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastrhttps://zencastr.com/?via=thefatherhoodchallengeCome and meet a dad who is raising nine kids.00:12.70Jonathan GuerreroYes, you heard me right. Nine kids. I know what you're probably thinking. How is he doing this? We're both going to find out together in just a moment, so don't go anywhere.00:25.28Jonathan GuerreroGreetings, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me in this episode called Nine Lives, One Dad. I met a dad of seven with seven kids once, but never nine. This is the first for me.00:36.11Jonathan GuerreroWe chatted a bit before this interview, and I felt like he was a long-lost brother from another mother. So I'm excited to introduce you to Casey Stubbs. Casey is not only a very busy dad and a devoted husband, but his professional life, he's very passionate about helping dads find financial freedom and even replace their income.00:54.90Jonathan GuerreroWe will talk more about that in a later episode, but right now we're here to pick his brain about being a dad of nine. Casey, welcome to the fatherhood challenge.01:04.73CaseyThanks, Jonathan. great Glad to be here.01:08.56Jonathan GuerreroOkay. So I am curious, what was that moment like when you had your, your first child and you knew for the first time that you were going to be a dad?01:19.43CaseyWell, um it's that's a really good question, and I'll unpack that with that. When I first started, met my wife, she had two kids already.01:31.88CaseyAnd so ah when we got together, i went through the process of adopting them. And so I knew immediately, so it wasn't like, oh, you know, it was not like a big surprise, but I will just preface like how my wife and I got together because I think it would be an interesting story for you and your listeners.01:56.21Jonathan GuerreroYes. Yes, it would please.01:58.32CaseySo, um so I was, this was back in 2004, 2003. two thousand and three And my, I knew my wife as an acquaintance, as a friend.02:11.46CaseyAnd I worked at a restaurant. I was a cook at Ponderosa Steakhouse with her brother. And so I knew her, um but we weren't really friends. As a matter of fact, we didn't like each other.02:25.71Caseyum And neither of us were Christians either. So I was in the Army Reserve at the time, and I got shipped off to go to Iraq.02:37.68CaseyAnd while I was at the training camp, which was at Fort Dix, my one of my friends that I made there, he gave me a book, and the name of the book was called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.02:52.43CaseyAnd so I'm reading the book. I'm getting ready to go to Iraq. I had ah some ah quite a few personal issues, problems, and things like that going on. And so i I made a joke to my friend who gave me the book. I didn't realize it was a Christian book at all.03:08.17CaseyLike that's how how out of it I was. But ah I just, the first, the intro was like, yeah, life's not all about you, you know? And so i I read that comment and I made a joke to my friend. I said, you gave me the wrong book.03:23.06CaseyYou said, this isn't all about me. What's going on? so So I read the book and it right in the in the middle of it, maybe in the beginning, ah There was a verse in there that said, ah before I created you, i knew you. It was a reference from, from Isaiah and man, that just hit me so hard.03:45.12CaseyAnd so i I was just, I prayed. i was ah like alone in the room. I prayed, I was reading and I called out on the Lord said, you know what? I need help. I can't do this. And I just felt the presence of God there.03:59.65CaseyLike it was amazing. I just felt like this incredible peace. And, um ah you know, I was having some difficult challenges and I've just felt like the Lord said, you know what? You're gonna have challenges in this life. You're gonna have problems, but I'm gonna be with you. And it's like the peace of God came on me and you know I never really got over that moment, even to this day.04:23.17CaseyAnd it just has been amazing. And that was like 22 years ago. so ah04:29.08Jonathan GuerreroWhoa. woe04:30.04CaseySo anyways, to make a long story, that was the preface of how my wife and I ended up getting together. So I then i was in the i wasn't in Iraq yet. That was like on the way. And so that book, Purpose Driven Life, is like 40 days for new believers, like the 40 steps that they're supposed to do.04:47.15CaseyAnd so I just went through and did each of the 40 things. Like it said, get a Bible. I went and got a Bible. It said, go to church. I started going to church. It said, get baptized. Like I just followed the whole, thing the whole list. I should actually reread it. Cause I haven't read it since, but, um,05:03.93CaseyBut anyways, so then I went to Iraq after that because I was for Dix, New Jersey. I'm there for a while. I didn't really stay in connection with any of the people from back home. I just told them I was going. I didn't tell them where I was.05:15.85Caseyi didn't I didn't give them a contact email. I didn't do anything. And so I was there probably nine months or so. And all of a sudden I get a letter from my wife and she was explaining like, oh, you didn't tell anyone where you were. i had to find you.05:37.62Caseyi was researching. I had to go ask all these people how to contact you. I was talking to recruiters. i was talking to other military people. And finally I was able to track you down. And so i was like, wow, okay. So I started writing her letters and, you know, one of the first things that she said was um wow,05:58.19Caseyit must be really terrifying knowing that you could die all the time, right? You know, like I couldn't imagine how crazy that must feel. And so that was obviously the perfect opportunity for me to say, well,06:11.95CaseyYou know, and I'm not too worried about that because i have a relationship with Jesus since the last time you talked to me. I'm now a Christian and, you know, I started sending a bunch of verses to her.06:23.61CaseyAnd so ah through that, she ended up getting saved. And so then we started communicating. And it was just so interesting because she, you know, she pursued me to find out where I was in Iraq. And she didn't really know why she was like so gung ho on like trying to find me. She felt like it was really...06:44.79CaseyAfter the fact, she felt like it was the the Lord put that on her to to try to find me. So we started writing letters to each other, and she she got saved. and And through that process, I was out in then Iraq and out in the desert and had a lot of ah time, alone time, because I'd walk and pray outside. And I really felt like the Lord told me that I was going to marry her.07:13.61CaseyAnd so I was like, okay, I'm going to do it. And so we didn't even date, you know, we, the last time I talked to her is like, we were not friends. Like we were acquaintances, but you know, she was teasing me a lot. We were not friends.07:28.59CaseyAnd so we make this encounter via letter. And so then I just wrote her a letter.07:35.95Caseyuh, basically proposing from Iraq without even dating. I just said, you know, I heard this from the Lord. I think we're going to be together. I think so. ah when I come back, do you want to get married type thing?07:47.26CaseyAnd I laid out this big vision, you know, like, okay, we're going to serve God. We're going to do all these things that God wants us to do. So I laid out that big vision and then she came back and said, yeah, okay, we'll do it.07:59.19CaseyAnd so, um, that was probably, You know, a I don't know. It's just one of those examples of just hearing God obeying, doing what he says to do and not really having a plan, which is kind of good.08:13.65Jonathan Guerreroyou're not going to believe what's what just popped in my head. and and that last part that you just described, there's the scripture text that says, you know, taste and see that the Lord is good.08:26.30Jonathan GuerreroAnd that was your, that was your experience of that is he got a wife. Yeah.08:32.04CaseyYeah. You know what? I mean, the, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.08:40.40Jonathan GuerreroYou're living evidence of that. Absolutely. That's really cool. So how did that lead into nine kids?08:49.03CaseyWell, you know, um ah the great thing about life is you never know what's ahead, you know, and I don't know about you, but for me,08:59.80CaseyIt's not anything what I actually thought it was going to be. Every time I think about things, it's like, how did I get here? Like, this is not what I was expecting, right? Like, that was not like a plan or anything like that. But ah I would say that it was intentional because, you know, one of the first commandments in the Bible is to be fruitful and multiply.09:22.41CaseyAnd so I take that very seriously. um i take that literally. And so that's that was the goal. And from I've talked to other podcasters. There was another podcaster that interviews a lot of dads, and he says, you know what?09:37.20CaseyThe... A lot of times the dad will want to have kids, but if he can't convince the wife, then it's not going to happen. Right. And so my wife was always for it.09:45.40Jonathan Guerreroyeah09:46.91CaseyAnd, uh, we just, we just went for it. And, um, so my wife had two kids before we were married and then I adopted them and then we had five kids together and then we adopted two also.10:01.50CaseySo, so my wife's had seven children. I've had five and then we adopted two.10:09.17Jonathan GuerreroWow. So how did the sleep work? Yeah.10:13.91CaseyWell, um you know, just a typical family of the man just sleeps through everything and lets the wife handle it. Isn't that the right way to do it?10:26.73Jonathan GuerreroThat's the way most of us have done it.10:32.22Jonathan Guerreroi mean, I did do my fair share of getting up in the middle of the night and, and, and trying to, to help out. But usually it it was my wife, uh, like just elbowing me and saying, it's your turn.10:47.23CaseyWell, sometimes it's kind of the like, you might, the willingness is there, but not necessarily the skills, right? You might want to to be able to do something, but you just can't quite do it. And, you know, not saying that that men can't do those things, but it's definitely not in my wheelhouse to be as comforting and nurturing.11:13.79CaseyUh, so I would do what I could.11:13.72Jonathan Guerreroyou11:18.23CaseyAnd it really depends on each kid too, because some of them would sleep really well and some not so well.11:25.56Jonathan GuerreroThat's ah really important for new dads to understand because it's like it feels like you make your mistakes on the first one and then you start to figure it out. Things start to make sense. And then you have your second one and it's like, OK, I'm ready. i' I'm more prepared. I know what to expect. And then that second one is just different. You're like, whoa, it's like starting over again.11:51.15CaseyYeah, that's so true. And um every every child has so many different different personalities and situations. And so you really have to be ah intentional and paying attention and focusing your time. And it you know that's the same with with kids, but it's the same with every relationship that we have because every single person is different We have a lot of things that are same, lot of experiences that are the same, but each person is unique.12:24.46Jonathan GuerreroSo you have five biological kids, and then you have two that are adopted, and then the others, well, so two are from a blended family, if I'm not mistaken, and then the others were adopted?12:42.14CaseyUm, well, yeah. so I mean, that's exactly right. So my wife had two children before we were married. So that was two. We started with two.12:53.92CaseyThen we began to have kids. And then towards the end, when we had the last two, we adopted them at the end. And so um they were neighborhood kids that we met.13:09.74CaseyActually, it was just one. My wife was babysitting. um My wife was babysitting, and it was a girl little girl from the neighborhood, two years old.13:21.37CaseyAnd the sister was watching her and would always drop her over off. Her name was Ellie, always dropping her off and at our house. And so my wife, at some point, she was like, well, you know what? You guys aren't paying us anything and we're spending all of our time.13:39.35CaseyI'm watching her for days and days at a time. yeah We just can't do this anymore. And so when my wife told her that, she came over like a week later and said, you know what? I can't watch this kid anymore. I'm actually turning her into the state.13:55.41CaseyAnd because she was was actually her sister's child. And so because her sister wasn't capable of it because she had drug problems. And so when my wife heard that, that she was getting dropped off to the state, she called me and was like, look, they're going to drop her off into the foster system.14:14.63Caseyah we've been watching her. I want to see if we can get her. So when they went to the hearing, she was just whatever it was at the courthouse or whatever to turn the kids in.14:26.77CaseyMy wife showed up and the judge was like, okay, well, you know them. They don't have any other family, so she can come. And so we took her in and you know she was two and a half and we had her for about a month.14:41.15Caseyand We had her about a month and then the state called again and said, hey, um the mother just had another child and she's at the hospital.14:52.15Caseythe kid is addicted to heroin. We got her in detox. The mom's not there anymore. do you want the sister also? um So she was had to stay on detox for 30 days. But then after that, she came straight from the hospital to us.15:06.89CaseyAnd so we got two. We got her sister. We didn't realize. And then right at the exact same time, my wife told me, she said, oh, yeah, by the way, ah we're pregnant.15:17.49CaseyAnd so we had basically three kids in a period of one month.15:22.58Jonathan GuerreroWow. That, that's a powerful story.15:29.21Jonathan GuerreroOkay. So I've got, so I've got the next obvious question that's probably popping in the heads of everyone who is listening to this right now. And that is nine kids.15:40.61Jonathan GuerreroHow do you do time management? And this is in the context of your, your highly successful, ah high achieving dad. Um,15:51.38Jonathan GuerreroI could call you an entrepreneur too, which is that is extremely time consuming. How do you balance family and success in business?16:02.76CaseyWell, that's ah that's ah such a good question. And um that's the challenge, really, because I have worked a lot. And so one is that um it's been very difficult to do both.16:18.72Caseyand It's been very difficult to do both. But at the same time, I get my own schedule right because of what I do. and um For example, I'm recording this interview and then as soon as i am done with this, I'm leaving and I'm going to be taking my daughter to music lessons.16:42.64CaseyRight. And it's right in the middle of the day. So it gives me the ability to work at weird hours, basically on my schedule.16:53.83CaseyRight. And so, so that's one of the things is just really17:01.10Caseyhaving a great schedule has opened up the doors for me. Right. And I would say too, when it comes to having kids, I talk to a lot of people, especially nowadays because the economy and inflation and all of that, a lot of people will hold off until they're financially settled to have kids.17:22.32CaseyNow I was a bit older when I got married, I was like 28. And so I was in kind of in a hurry because I felt like I wasted a lot of time. I didn't get saved till 27. So up until then I was just like, it was all about me. Right.17:36.54CaseyAnd so I felt like I was a little bit behind the curve, but with the Lord, you're not behind the curve. He can redeem the time.17:43.43Jonathan GuerreroVery true. Yes.17:46.28Caseyum But anyways, a lot of people will wait financially to have kids because they're not ready financially. And they think that they're being responsible. And to some degree, that could be true. I believe that you need to be responsible. But at the same time, there's a faith element involved.18:05.52CaseyAnd I will say this, that every time that I had more kids, God blessed me with more provision. And um it's just amazing how that works. And so ah yeah in 2008, I lost my job because when I got out of the military, I did construction.18:22.49CaseyAnd I lost my job in 2008. So lot of kids... lot of kids Wasn't that family wasn't that big yet, but no, no income coming in. And that's when I decided to start my business.18:33.79CaseyAnd so I started a website and I was teaching people what I knew about the markets and it just really took off really fast.18:44.36CaseyRight. So I started at the beginning of the year of 2009. And by the time the year was up, I didn't ever have to go back to work. Like I've been doing that ever since.18:56.01Jonathan GuerreroSo going back to the scripture that says, be fruitful be fruitful and multiply. we i at least have applied it mostly to just having kids, and that's only what it means.19:10.73Jonathan GuerreroBut after I've done a deeper study of it, it turns like it it means there's two parts to that. Be fruitful, and then it doesn't say be fruitful multiply. It says be fruitful and multiply. So they're completely two different things.19:27.56Jonathan GuerreroSo the multiplication part can be associated with having kids. being fruitful is a lot of things, and you've done both.19:39.74Jonathan GuerreroAnd so what that tells me is there is this expectation, yes, have kids, and yes, be successful, you know build your empires, do all of that,19:43.81Caseyyou19:52.77Jonathan GuerreroSo if God set that expectation from the very beginning, he would have put in the provision as well for us to be able to manage the family that he asked us to create and the empires that he also asked us to create.20:10.82Jonathan GuerreroSo all of the wisdom to manage those things, to be a good steward of those things, comes directly from God. So how do we tap into that?20:23.15CaseyWell, ah20:23.94Jonathan Guerreroyou20:27.01Caseythat's a great question. And um I think the biggest thing is to try to stay grounded with your life, right? And just do kind of the basics, which is...20:43.44CaseyStay connected to the word of God, stay connected to prayer, stay active in a local church, you know, build your life up with men ah that are like-minded that can help you out ah because we all have blind spots and weaknesses and we just need each other.21:00.48CaseyWe're not really designed to to be alone in this whole thing. And also just learning to hear from the Holy Spirit and and obey.21:13.97Caseyah The voice of God is really a big part of it.21:21.39Jonathan GuerreroThat's really huge for me because being able to hear from the Holy Spirit to me is the ultimate superpower to be able to manage life.21:32.86Jonathan GuerreroAnd I've learned that with empire building, you really, really, really do not want to do that without the Holy Spirit. You do not want to attempt that without God's help.21:46.78Jonathan Guerrerobecause there are so many nuances to that that God already knows and can teach you and can put in your way. As far as the work-family balance, God can give you the wisdom for that.21:59.33Jonathan Guerreroah You really just don't want to try that alone. um And then the wisdom to be a father, especially a father of nine.22:10.11Jonathan GuerreroWow. um How has hearing from the Holy Spirit given you an advantage to be able to be ah a really good father?22:20.69Caseyah So i want to I'm going to answer that, but I wanted to jump back on something that you said about not wanting to try that without the Holy Spirit you know empire building and going out and just doing a lot of things. And that's really true ah because it can it can really end up poorly it can end up really poorly.22:49.13CaseyAnd I'll just use this as an example. A lot of Christian men that start business, you know, they they'll say, you know, I want to do ministry or ah want to do i want to do business so that I can have the time to do the things that God wants me to do.23:07.32CaseyAnd they they go into the business with that expectation. But it becomes really apparent that it becomes overwhelming.23:18.83CaseyAnd then the business starts to consume them. And then instead of doing more things in ministry, they're doing much less. And not only are they doing less in ministry, they're doing less at home.23:30.15CaseyAnd the business just continues to consume you more and more and more. And then It's not even that prosperous anyways. And you've just got this massive beast that is consuming your life.23:43.38CaseyAnd it was the exact opposite of what you started it for in the first place. And that's something that can really... really be a dangerous path to go on and so that's why it's so important to what like you said to not try it without the lord also i would say too you you know in deuteronomy 28 says that your blessings will be so grow so fast that they're over going to overtake you and that is so true that you know when you obey god you get blessed um however if you don't have the disciplines24:17.80Caseyin your life to be able to contain those blessings, you're like an empty bucket or you're like a bucket with holes and you get blessed and then everything runs out and then everything falls apart. And so I've experienced, I've experienced both of those things that I mentioned in the fact of being overwhelmed and kind of missing the mark as far as my purpose, and then also being extremely blessed, but then not having the discipline or the character ah to be able to maintain it.24:45.10CaseyAnd then having just kind of everything collapsing initially starting with good intentions and, and wanting to do the right thing, but ending up making a big mess of everything.24:59.16Jonathan GuerreroThat makes a lot of sense. So when that overflow happens, which can normally cause people to collapse and fail in their business endeavors and everything else that they're doing,25:16.09Jonathan Guerrerothere is a wisdom that is required to be able to manage that excess. And from what I've learned and patterns about how God works, there is a purpose in the excess and God gives you that excess to bless other people.25:32.42Jonathan GuerreroAnd if you're not focused on, if you don't have the mind of Jesus and you're not focused on God's intentions with that excess, and you don't know how to manage it for the purposes that he intended, ah then yeah, it just, it collapses on you.25:51.54Jonathan Guerreroum And even family, you know, God gave you and blessed you this family to be a steward of. And so when you do have that excess, you know, your family's meant to be blessed and benefit from that as well.26:05.26Jonathan GuerreroAnd so if that's not happening, That to me is a really good sign to slam on the brakes and get away and spend some serious alone time with God and ask him you know, what am I doing? And what have you, what was your purpose for me?26:25.21Jonathan GuerreroWhat was your purpose for all of this? Have i fallen out of line with that? where are you and where am I in relation to where you are and how do I get to back to where you want me to be?26:37.21Jonathan Guerreroum And that's a that's a sobering thing. So um that being said, our intention, our posture should be from the very beginning before we get into anything, making sure that we're where God is and not the other way around.26:58.35Jonathan GuerreroSo anyway, that's my thoughts on that.27:01.08CaseyThat's good. You know, I i agree. it's a um It's a reset. And I think everybody goes through that process. I just think it's part of the maturing process, part of the growth. It's how we grow.27:11.93Jonathan GuerreroFor sure.27:12.08CaseyUm, and, uh, it's painful, but it's good. Um, so yeah, I think, um, the key component is like you said, it's a reset. It's continually going back to the Lord, not, you know, fighting, trying to fight the pride aspect of it or the aspect of feeling sorry for yourself. Like I had this and now I lost it. And,27:38.69CaseyI'm a big failure. I really messed up. I don't deserve it. And you know you can play these head games with yourself or you know really just stay humble and continue to seek the Lord.27:51.61CaseyAnd gratitude is a big one. no matter what No matter what the situations that we're living in ah plenty or not plenty, being grateful, finding the things that the Lord has blessed you with, and just really thanking the Lord always.28:08.58Caseyand not allowing it to steal your joy, not allowing the ups, the downs, not having a lot or not having little change that joy mindset. We're commanded to rejoice always. And that's one area that I want to obey God in.28:25.17CaseyI mean, there's a lot of areas I want to obey, but that's definitely one that that I'm going focus on not losing that.28:32.02Jonathan GuerreroFor sure. For sure. Well, Casey, we have picked your brain about your story, about what it's like to raise nine kids. There's so much more to your life, to who you are, and we're going to have you back on for future episodes to dive into other things, um business for the matter, um how do dads find a good source of income that can give them that financial freedom? That's a whole nother thing we'll address in the future.29:01.61Jonathan GuerreroBut for now, as we wrap up and close, what is your challenge to that dad listening now that has maybe two kids, five, six, who knows, and is just feeling overwhelmed?29:15.52CaseyWell, ah I think the biggest thing is to don't always assume that you're right about everything. um It's easy to get caught up in the way we want to do things, but just to be flexible, try to adjust, keep yourself humble, and ultimately, ah obviously, just continue to seek the Lord and seek guidance because...29:46.17CaseyThe Holy Spirit's always there to get us on the right path.29:52.60Jonathan GuerreroAwesome. That's a perfect way to end it. Casey, thank you so much for coming on the Fatherhood Challenge, for sharing your story and inspiring us. I really appreciate it.30:04.04CaseyThank you, Jonathan.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/thefatherhoodchallengepodcast/donations

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