“Nine times….” as the brilliant Jeffrey Jones said as headmaster Ed Rooney in the eighties comedy classic Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. But was is a classic? Rather, was Ferris, instead of being a hero to teenagers everywhere, simply a spoilt, jumped up little menace? And what’s all this Facebook business? Surely it’s not a suitable environment for anyone over the age of twenty-five? We have a good look at the miserly madness of second class post and how it’s harder for the Post Office to send a letter slowly than it is at regular pace, before we wrap a cloak across our faces and head into the dark catacombs of Alan’s Dates, where this week a rather downbeat Mr Merrick has been to a gallery with a Swiss artist called Digital.

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