Have you observed negative patterns in your behavior for reasons you can't seem to pinpoint? Often, these stem from childhood traumas we think we have already buried or forgotten. That's why sometimes, we can't explain why we respond and behave to circumstances the way we do. Living our purpose as our authentic self requires healing from traumas we don't talk about. And more than anything, it starts with self-knowledge. In the first episode of Returning Home, Elise talks about how she became a therapist and LCSW. She shares her own experiences of trauma and how it has helped establish her vision as a therapist. Elise delves into Dr. Bruce Perry’s Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics and the functions of the nervous system. Remember: trauma healing is much more beyond the mindset. It requires work both in our body and our subconscious mind. If you want to be one step closer to healing from childhood trauma, then this episode is for you. Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode Learn the meaning behind the name "Returning Home" and how you can benefit from it. Discover the importance of learning about the nervous system’s different functions in understanding childhood trauma healing. Find out how mindfulness practice can help in healing from trauma. Resources Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Questionnaire The Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics by Dr. Bruce D. Perry and Christine L. Dobson Video: SevenSlideSeries: The Human Brain (skip ahead to 4:15 to see the model and area of the brain and which parts get affected during trauma) The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk Mindful SchoolsMindful Schools Sign up for Elise’s Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey! Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya Episode Highlights [01:08] Returning Home: The Podcast The rationale behind the podcast is to serve clients and people in the community around therapy. [01:34] Becoming a Therapist Elise wants to be part of creating a world where people want to have self-knowledge. Deep self-knowledge leads to love and acceptance of ourselves. It allows us to expand fully in our most authentic expression. Elise became a therapist to get to know herself better and heal from things she's experienced. Becoming a therapist helped her step more fully into her life purpose. Elise: “Everybody deserves to be able to feel the freedom in life to express themselves and to pursue the knowledge of themselves and have access to resources to live as their most genuine, authentic self—doing things that align with their values and being able to live as their full, true identity.” [03:25] On Pain Elise arrived at her vision of the world she wants to live in through pain. Going through challenges and difficulties is part of the human condition. Elise grew up afraid of the world, feeling like a misfit and a black sheep.  There was a lack of connection and warmth in her family. Her anxious attachment style made it hard to connect with other people. She came from a family of immigrants. One of her siblings committed suicide. Elise: “Hurt people hurt people, right? That people who are suffering tend to be the people that are inflicting suffering on other people.” [05:18] Alleviating Suffering through Therapy Elise wanted to be somebody who could provide intervention and alleviate suffering through connection. Her sister committing suicide put some things in perspective for her. She wanted to be her true, authentic self. That Elise is someone she didn't feel she had the permission or the example of how to connect with it. She decided to go to graduate school and become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). She majored in Women and Gender Studies. It fed her love of learning and challenging the situations she gets immersed into. [07:00] Becoming A Licensed Mental Health Counselor Elise opened her eyes to potential career paths and did information interviews. She realized that the people who were doing the things she wanted to do were LCSW and therapists. [07:23] Discovering Trauma and Creating Her Own Life Path Going to graduate school made Elise discover the traumas in her life. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) is a 10-question questionnaire around childhood trauma. Elise scored 4 or 5 in ACEs. The highest score is a 10. She wanted to be an example of what’s possible when you decide to take your life into your own hands. Becoming a therapist was the way she could create her own path as well as her clients’. [09:14] Her Vision of Being a Therapist Elise’s initial vision of therapy was a romanticized, cozy therapy office. Her training included work with children in many experiential modalities. The type of work Elise likes to do is creating warmth and safety in therapy for clients. Her vision evolved and changed throughout the years. [11:37] Dr. Bruce Perry and the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics Dr. Bruce Perry developed the theory called the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics. Dr. Perry is a child psychologist. He is an expert in child development and the effects of trauma on children's brain development. Learning about the effects of trauma on children’s development changed Elise’s life. The model focuses on the developing nervous system of fetuses, infants, and kids. [13:30] The Brain and Its Functions The brain stem develops from the bottom up. It starts developing 16 days after conception. The brain stem controls the heart rate, breathing, body temperature, and blood pressure. The diencephalon cerebellum or the midbrain controls coordination, movement, balance, sleep, and appetite. The limbic system controls the social and emotional skills of children between ages 3 to 12. It develops into adulthood. The neocortex controls concrete thought, abstract thought, advanced thinking, and problem-solving. It doesn't fully develop until the mid-20s. [16:31] Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics Approach Trauma-informed training and education around what goes on in the brain of developing kids are critical. The theory shows that children who have experienced trauma have “pins” in the parts of their nervous system. It affects how the rest of the system develops. The nervous system changes the way it develops on a chemical-biological level. [17:57] Trauma Healing Goes Beyond Mindset Trauma intervention and healing are so much more beyond mindset. Trauma has physical ramifications on the body and the subconscious mind. The top 5% of the mind is the conscious mind, while the bottom 95% is the unconscious mind. All childhood trauma is in the bottom 95%. Our formative experiences impact how we see life.  We need to bring the body into work to heal from trauma. Elise: “We need to bring a level of gentleness and a level of understanding and a level of compassion to our work. Because the choices that we make are more often than not very much caused by this unconscious process that's happening that is beyond our ability to just think through it. We have to really work with the body.” [19:32] The Importance of Co-Regulation Elise worked in a school and did intensive in-home counseling for at-risk youth. She used the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics approach in her work. Infants need co-regulation when something triggers them. Time, intention, and education can help rewrite how the nervous system interacts. Our brains can change, learn, and grow because of neuroplasticity.  Neuroplasticity allows us to become who we’re meant to be rather than a reflection of our trauma. [22:20] Mindfulness Practice and Mental Health Mindfulness practice and training helped Elise turn theory into practical, real healing. She started practicing mindfulness seriously in 2016 through Mindful Schools. Mindfulness helped her slow down and be in her body and experiences. It helped her face herself in an authentic, honest way. She stopped drinking in January 2020. A lot of her conditioning, traumas, and patterns have come to light in terms of healing from this experience. [24:35] Accountability and Ending Generational Trauma Generational trauma is real. While accountability is critical, people do better when they know better. This knowledge should be on a learned level, not just on an intellectual level. Decide to be the one who chooses not to perpetuate harmful patterns on future generations. Forgiving people without letting them in your life is an acceptable approach to healing. Inflicting harm to other people often roots from the subconscious and unconscious patterns people aren't willing to see. [26:51] The Therapy Space Elise’s vision as a therapist sometimes puts her at odds with therapy. Therapy isn’t only about results. It’s more of a safe space to process and talk through life experiences while feeling seen, heard, and validated. In Elise’s work, therapy also involves challenging clients to expand, learn, grow, and try things differently. She ties together clients’ present circumstances and past experiences that have shaped them. Then, she helps them embody who they truly want to be. Enjoyed this Episode? If you enjoyed this podcast, please make sure to subscribe and share it! Leave an episode review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning in to this episode, don't forget to leave us a review. You can also share what you've learned today with your friends to help them embody their true, authentic selves. Anything is possible when you return home to yourself.  Have any questions or lightbulb moments? I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on Instagram or send an email at [email protected].  Thank you so much for listening! For more episode updates, visit my website.

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