In this conversation, Carlos and Jennifer explore the complexities of life as a spouse in the foreign service, discussing the accountability paradox, the importance of adaptability, and the challenges of maintaining a professional identity while supporting a partner's career. They delve into personal growth, the dynamics of relationships in a foreign context, and the need for policy changes to support spouses. Carlos shares insights on navigating job markets, the emotional aspects of career transitions, and the significance of self-discovery in shaping one's professional journey.Chapters00:00 The Role of a Trailing Spouse04:45 Marsupial Identity and Independence06:53 Navigating Relationships and Autonomy07:46 The Science of Relationships09:32 Proximity vs. Emotional Connection11:02 Adaptability in Foreign Service Life13:18 Skills for Success in Foreign Service14:49 Crafting Your Professional Identity16:33 Reinventing Yourself in New Environments17:57 Finding Your Core Interests19:50 The Journey of Self-Discovery22:03 Breaking Free from Attachments22:51 Navigating Personal Growth and Change24:55 Supporting Diplomatic Families: A Policy Perspective27:58 Advice and Experiences as a Diplomatic Spouse32:08 Reflections on Career and Identity37:08 The Vocation of Diplomacy: A Call to ServiceI write more deeply about what I learn from my intervieweesalong with insights from 20+ years as a diplomat and army officer - in my weekly newsletter, Diplomatic Dispatches.You can also find me here:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-s-uptonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtodiplomat/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@howtodiplomatThe views expressed in this episode are the personalreflections of the guest. They do not represent the official positions of the UK Foreign Office or any government. This podcast shares human stories and transferable lessonsfrom diplomacy - not day-to-day operational details.

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