In 36 days, it’s going to be 5 years since I delved into this parenting thing. When I keep thinking about how Laddoo is going to be 5, ALL I can think of are 5-year-plans, 5 years of government, etc.

So I decided to make a 5-year-plan for Laddoo. 

And as a part of this 5-year-plan I thought it’d be a good idea to get a performance review from Laddoo (and so far that’s the only thing I have).

Over the last year and a half, in addition to the pandemic, our family has gone through some major events that have collectively changed the family dynamic. I, personally, have changed a lot as a person and therefore as a parent as well. I have been a much more conscious parent than before, but there have been instances where I wasn’t able to give my best, and instances (though, rare) where I behaved pretty horribly (and then offered a sincere apology + tried to do better next time). So I do have a pretty good idea of how I have fared. But I wanted to know what LADDOO feels about me and what she thinks I did not do well, so I can work on doing better. 

 So I asked her. Her responses are funny and she’s laughing throughout the conversation, but for real answers I have to read between the lines. Not just that, I am going to make this a regular thing - asking her for a performance review - so I am aware of what she needs from me as her mother. 

Because recently, I read something that hit home.

“Just because you love me does not mean I feel loved by you.”

And I want Laddoo to FEEL loved. Not in the way ‘I’ want to love her, but in the way she NEEDS me to love her. And there’s a BIG difference between the two.

What do you think?

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