Ever second-guess a silly choice because you worried what others might think? In this episode of Gracefully Unraveled, host Kelli Lynch reflects on a hilarious T-shirt moment that uncovers something much deeper—how ego, identity, and motherhood intertwine to shape who we believe we are. Kelli unpacks why moms often “brand” themselves to fit expectations, what Eckhart Tolle and Lao Tzu teach us about the false self, and how faith reveals a more authentic, grace-filled way to show up.Through honest storytelling, cultural insight, and spiritual reflection, this conversation explores ego’s quiet control and the freedom that comes from stepping outside curated expectations. Whether you’re a reflective mom, spiritual seeker, or just someone learning to laugh at life’s contradictions, this episode will inspire you to show up—unfiltered.🎙️ Regular episodes every other week with bonus episodes in between.➕Be sure to Follow and Share with a mom friend!✨Enjoy a steady stream of inspirational messages on social channels. Search @GracefullyUnraveledPodcast or click links below!🔗YouTube🔗Facebook🔗Instagram<<Transcript>>I was shopping on one of those popular discount websites for things I didn’t need when I came across a T-shirt that made me smile and audibly laugh. First thought? “I have to have this.” But while I added it to my cart immediately, it sat there for a full 24 hours while my brain ran through a tug-of-war over whether it was “appropriate” for a 40-something year old mom.So, for the sake of clarity, picture this — there’s an old-fashioned bike, the kind my grandma rode - with a basket on the front, and it’s being pedaled by a raccoon. In the basket rests a possum clutching the edges — and the caption reads “Get in loser, trouble won’t find itself.”For my left-brain friends, you might need to hop over to social later to fully appreciate the visual. But for my right-brain people, I hope you’re laughing. Seeing that shirt made me instantly think of my sister, being carefree and perhaps careless in our youth - and we'd probably do so now if left alone long enough.But my initial response was then followed by conditioned thinking. My nostalgia and good humor turned into a full-blown internal conversation. Would I actually wear that shirt in public? Would I be setting a bad example for my kids? Would other mom's make judgements about me and subsequently my parenting skills? Or...Maybe, I’m not actually that funny — and don’t belong in a shirt like that.Welcome back to Gracefully Unraveled — a podcast where we explore the sacred messiness of motherhood, identity and ego. I'm your host Kelli Lynch, and every other week I’ll be exploring how motherhood reshapes us — not into someone new, but into a deeper awareness of who we are. Through personal reflection, spiritual insight, a dash of data and whole lot of honesty- let’s unravel with intention and kindness together.Maybe you didn’t debate a possum shirt like I did. But have you ever laughed at a meme, maybe liked it, but stopped short of resharing it? Not because it wasn’t funny — but because you started to wonder what your followers might think. Whether it aligned with your role as a mom, a co-worker, a Christian even— whatever identity you were trying to protect in that moment? That little internal pause? That’s what we’re digging into today.I’ve spent most of my career in marketing and communications. So moments like this — analyzing the message against the target audience — feels familiar. In marketing, we call it audience segmentation: tailor your message to match the expectations of whoever’s receiving it.But when you do that in real life — over and over — the risk is, you start marketing a version of yourself that isn’t fully authentic.Even small things — like packing your kid’s lunch — can become a branding exercise. Should I drop in the Takis and Oreos because I’m super casual? Or do I go with baby cucumbers and an apple? If you're like me, you do both. Better to cover all the bases.It’s like post-childbirth, some invisible assistant moved in — quietly whispering, “Let’s run that through the brand guidelines before you proceed.”This, my friend, is your ego at work.One of my go-to modern spiritual teachers is Eckhart Tolle, and you’ll likely hear me refer to him many times over the course of my episodes. He defines ego as the part of the mind that tries to control your thinking and behavior. It’s a false sense of self built through identification with roles, appearance and beliefs -- to name a few. It consists of automatic thinking that is reactive and seeking value from the world.While research regarding the psychological impacts of motherhood on women is spotty, there is a powerful study that was published in 2013 in the Journal of Education, Culture and Society. It reported that unlike some other social roles, motherhood often demands a profound identity reorganization. Maternal identity doesn’t replace a woman’s previously perceived identity but rather reshapes it — integrating former roles like wife, daughter, friend, or professional into something more layered and complex. And this psychological reorganization can feel disorienting at times, especially when we hold ourselves to internalized ideals of what motherhood should look like--but perhaps more specifically, how we should look doing it.When I contemplated purchasing that silly shirt, my brain was already playing out several scenarios:“Mom, you would never let us call someone a loser.” Okay, guys, so that’s not where my head was at when I got this.Or perhaps getting the sideways glance as I strolled through the grocery with my seemingly ill-behaved kiddos, and another woman reading my shirt thinking “makes sense”.These scenarios for me would feel like mom fails. Like I allowed my childish comedy to get in the way of being a good role model. Ugh - why did life have to get so serious? Is Peter Pan still jumping in windows? Can I go?Ancient spiritual traditions have long challenged the idea that we can define ourselves through the roles we play. Lao Tzu, the Chinese philosopher and author of the Tao Te Ching, said, "He who defines himself can't know who he really is." In Taoism, the essence of being is fluid and undefinable — our true nature cannot be confined to fixed identities. The more we try to lock ourselves into a label, the further we drift from our authentic self.And, Tolle built upon that wisdom in his popular books like A New Earth, where he described ego as the part of the mind that forms identity by attaching itself to external roles and appearances. For many women, the role of "mother" becomes not just something they do — it becomes who they are. And this identification can become so strong that every choice, emotion, or behavior is filtered through the internalized question: Am I being a good mom? Which, I believe, is rooted in the far deeper question: Am I enough?The work of mothering isn’t about measuring up to society’s ideal. It’s about participating in a sacred purpose God prepared for us — not as perfect mothers, but as present, growing ones. You are enough because you were divinely created.Many spiritual traditions affirm that our true nature begins not with form or function, but with spirit — a sacred essence that precedes any identity or role. Genesis 1:27 says "So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them." (NIV) This is often misinterpreted as referring to physical likeness but "image of God" refers not to our outer form, but to our inner nature--our capacity for consciousness, love and spiritual connection.Being made in the image of God is a spiritual reality, not a physical or role-based identity.So here’s where we bring it all home:It was never about the shirt.It’s about how easily we attach meaning — and worth — to things like appearance and perception. It’s about how subtly ego persuades us to protect our identity through curation. And how, through motherhood, we begin to see just how tangled those threads have become.But what if we didn’t need to wear the perfect shirt, say the right thing, or parent in a way that earned us invisible applause? What if we let motherhood be something sacred we do with love, not the full definition of who we are?Thanks for listening to Gracefully Unraveled. If you’d like to go deeper with this week’s reflection, head over to Instagram for this week's journal prompt or visit the links in the show notes.Be sure to click follow and tune in every other week for a new episode.Until next time, keep unraveling.

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