Growing up, I never considered working for the FBI. To me, the FBI was just special agents kicking in doors, arresting violent criminals, and putting themselves in harm's way. I wanted to help people, but let's face it: guns are scary, and I don't like running. As one of my high school best friends reminded me recently, I drove a pink car and wore bows in my hair. I was not what you think of when you think of FBI employees. In 2012, Philip joined the FBI. His first week on the job, he came home and told me about the Intelligence Analyst job. It was research, analysis, writing, briefing, and no guns or running. It was all the skills I learned as an attorney, but instead of applying those skills to divorces, contract disputes, and real estate deals, I could do something even bigger: protect our nation from terrorists, spies, and violent criminals. After four years of sequestration and hiring freezes, I joined the FBI in May 2016. The first six years, I worked counterterrorism matters, including a joint duty assignment as an FBI Liaison Officer at CIA's Counterterrorism Mission Center. In January of 2022, I became a Supervisory Intelligence Analyst in FBI's Los Angeles field office. I served as the intelligence coordinator for the Violent Crimes program and the Transnational Organized Crimes programs. The Violent Crimes program was not extremely intel-friendly, but I worked hard with my team to find ways to bring value to these programs and to the Intelligence Community. In January 2025, I was selected for a leadership position at our Headquarters in DC. With so much uncertainty and the rapid changes in the FBI's mission and priorities, I chose not to put my family through a cross-country move for a job that might not exist in DC in the near-future. The first half of 2025 was difficult. Going to work every day brought internal turmoil. I was put in charge of projects that I did not believe were morally and ethically sound. My moral compass was spinning. The projects were not what was being presented to the American people. We were not going after the "worst of the worst" or the most heinous criminals. At one point, I was asked to cross the red line.I refused. I was told I could get fired today or fired in four years—meaning I could get fired today for refusing to violate my oath, or I could get fired in four years when another administration is in office and looking at who participated in these violations. I said "Fire me today."They didn't.Instead, my squad was taken away from me. I was moved to a different position within my office and told that this was not a "personnel action." I received the lightly veiled threat that the "7th floor" (FBI executives in DC) knew about me. I was instructed to keep my head down and do as I was told. In May 2025, I took the deferred resignation. The decision came as a shock to most people, myself included.I wrote this in my LinkedIn post last spring announcing my departure from the FBI, and it is still true today:"If I learned anything in the FBI, it is that yes, you can say no. If something is wrong, unjust, or unethical, you speak up, and sometimes speaking up means saying 'no.' But with a no, there also comes a 'yes.' Yes, I will always uphold my oath. Yes, I will always do the right thing. Yes, I will always ask the important questions."You can connect with Jill on LinkedIn.Learn more about this episode on our ⁠⁠website⁠⁠. If you enjoy Forking Off with us, consider supporting us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ko-fi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠follow us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bluesky⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you get your podcasts.----------The views expressed in this episode are solely those of the individuals providing them and do not necessarily represent the views of the FBI, the DOJ, the United States, or any past or current employers.

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