Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ concept of the stages of grief gave people real footing in understanding how we react to loss. But Sherman Lee (Christopher Newport University) says grief isn’t experienced in a linear, neat way. Have you ever been driving and suddenly found yourself in tears about a loss, real or imagined? Or maybe you were washing the dishes and suddenly spaced out and started having painful feelings as you anticipate or remember a loss? He calls these sudden, intense experiences “grief attacks,” and says they can happen at any time.

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