About an hour later another asserted, "Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean." Peter replied, "Man, I don't know what you're talking about!" Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly (Luke 22:59-62). In the story of Jesus arrest and trial, both Judas and Peter experience guilt. Guilt is a good thing, mostly. It is meant to be good, to act like a smoke detector, telling us that something is wrong. Of course, like everything else about us, it can be corrupted by sin so that we feel guilty about troubles we did not create. Let's leave that sort of guilt aside for today. In the gospels, both Judas and Peter feel the proper kind of guilt because they have both done wrong. The question to be asked is, "What do we do with our guilt?" Its not guilt that is a problem, but how we respond to it. Judas could not deal with his guilt. Peter's story ends differently; let's consider it. Surely, this is one of the most poignant moments in all of the scriptures, "Jesus turned and looked straight at Peter". As he looked into his master's eyes from across the courtyard, Peter must have remembered all his bravado: "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you" (Matthew 26:35). Did he also remember that Jesus had prayed for him (22:31)? He went outside and wept bitterly. He didn't kill himself, didn't disintegrate. He continued to hang around. A few days later he ran right into the tomb wondering "Is it really empty?" He swam ahead of the others to meet Jesus on the beach and after breakfast Jesus restored him. There is no formula to it; Peter did no acts of penance. All we see in Peter is a new humility. He can't bring himself to answer Jesus' question, "Do you love me?" He knows he doesn't love Jesus enough. He knows that now. In Peter's story, we see that it really doesn't matter that Peter's devotion is insufficient. That's encouraging for all of us who wonder if our devotion is sufficient. What matters is that Jesus loves him, Jesus died for him, Jesus rose for him, Jesus stayed with him. Guilt. What do we do when the guilt alarm goes off? It depends on which gospel we believe in. Many Christians buy into the gospel of self-improvement. We tell ourselves that we must try harder to be good and we must fix things. This is where we begin incorporating guilt for things that we had no hand in breaking. If only we had been a better parent, a better spouse, a better friend…this bad thing would not have happened. This only leads to despair and loneliness and, yes, sometimes, even death, as in Judas' case. This is the kind of guilt that says, "if I feel really bad for a long enough time;" or, "If I give a little more time to Bible study or to some other religious activity;" or, "If I try really hard to do better, come up with a series of goals and become accountable to someone to achieve those goals;" or, "If I work hard to undo the consequences for what I have done," then God will know that I am serious, and he'll let me off, and I won't feel so guilty anymore. Do you think that is what Peter saw in his master's eyes from across the courtyard? An accusation and a command to try harder. Trying harder has never set anyone free of guilt. Here is what Peter saw in those eyes, "Yes, you did it. You denied me, even though you vowed you never world. But I am going to die for what you did. You don't have to live with it. So go out and weep your bitter tears of repentance. That's appropriate because you've done a terrible thing. But then turn back to me in faith. Enjoy your salvation and dry your tears of regret, because for those tears I died!" NO! Peter did not understand all of that yet. But he would. Latter, he would quote Isaiah, ""He himself bore our sins" in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; "by his wounds you have been healed" (1 Peter 2:24). When guilt fills your soul, hear those words, "by his wounds we are healed."

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