Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ… Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 5:21, 6:1-4). Did you know children play "catch" with their parents all day long? Children spend their lives catching how parents live, catching how they talk, catching their ways of responding, and catching their walk with God - or lack thereof. Faith is contagious. So is apathy. Since parents set the patterns, I will reflect mostly on parenting here. According to historical sources, a Roman father had absolute power over his family. He could sell them as slaves, make them work his fields in chains, punish as he liked, he could even inflict the death penalty on his child. Children were a nuisance; unwanted babies were abandoned, the deformed and sick were killed; children were ignored or used for parental purposes. In contrast, Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me' and 'to such belongs the kingdom of God.' We notice that Paul follows Jesus rather than the culture of the Roman Empire. The Christian family, like the church, is lived under this rubric, 'submit to each other out of reverence for Christ'. In the marriage relationship, Paul calls us to a better way. Here too. But we are far removed from Roman culture. The world has many cultures, and each has its own patterns of family life. Paul is not giving us a manual on the parent child relationship that is transcultural, nor a textbook for successful Christian parenting. Parenting will look different in each culture. We are not instructed to abandon our cultural patterns. Rather, we are to engage with them out of "reverence for Christ" while learning "mutual submission." If I may say it, we are not used to this. Ours is an aggressively competitive culture, in which we measure ourselves against one another: educational credentials, athletic competition, salary, popularity, fashion, appearance, or performance. Competition is bred into us. We evaluate the people around us as winners and losers. We want to win, in family life too. The family is the setting in which competition does the most damage. Whether it is between family members or against another family, competition undermines intimacy and hinders Christian maturity. Our goal is not to win, but to grow up in Christ by being "subject to one another," even in the family. But it doesn't come easy. It is an art form, best learned in the family setting. Submission means that we set aside our own agendas for the sake of the other. Parents need to wrestle away the goals and dreams they have for their children. "Do not exasperate them." Even in parenting, we follow the way of Christ. The measuring stick for maturity for the Christian is the "measure of the full stature of Christ." We pay attention to the ways that Jesus forgave, loved, touched lepers, received outsiders, prayed for his friends. Partnered with mutual submission is reverence for Christ. This is an attitude or disposition that acknowledges God's presence, recognizing that he is more and better than we are. It begins at the burning bush, as we remove our sandals. It permeates our relations as we recognize and reverence Christ in every person we meet, even our parents and children. Fear of the Lord opens our spirits, our souls, to become what we are not yet, growing up into Christ. We play catch with our children all day long. What balls do we throw their way? If our children do not see us practicing submission, why should they obey us? If they do not see the 'fear of the Lord' in us, where will they see it? There is no manual for success here. Yet, the fear of the Lord includes a deep trust in God's baptismal promises. No matter what happens in life, he remains our faithful God. We entrust our parents and our children to him. Let this blessing encourage both parent and child: Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:17-21).

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