Paige went to "Education Week" and attended several marriage relationship classes. In this episode, Paige talks to Darren about what she learned on how we can avoid toxic behavior in our relationship and strengthen our marriage.Toxic BehaviorVision for your marriage. Good communication, and fun.Risk factors and danger signs. Conflict is not always bad. Certain patterns of conflict are bad.Danger signs Escalation - Back and forth, negatively driven by defensiveness. The topic does not matter it matters how you discuss itInvalidation - Partners put down the thoughts, feelings or characters of their partnerNegative interpretations - We assume our partner is just being mean. Give them the benefit of the doubtAvoidance and withdrawal - One partner avoids talking about important issues, shuts downHow to stop or prevent danger signsCouples don't know how to get out of an argumentCall time outYou have to bring it back up within 24 hoursA person that calls time out must call time inIn a time out get your mind off the fight. Watch a funny show, meditate, etc..Think what is behind your angry, 99% of the time it is hurt feelingsDo NOT spend the time out planning your attack on your partner or ruminating about themBeing effective is more important than being rightCues of things going wrongWhat are the cues that the conversation is about to go off the railsEye rollingThinking that your spouse is ridiculousCrying. Darren not as much as PaigeMost couples talk about important issues only when they are fighting about themTriggering eventsIssuesHidden issues - unexpressed needs that fuel the conflictHow to talk about issues without turning it into a fightWhen we are hurt we often act out with our gut, not our head

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