Too often, only too often, couples live lives of quiet despair.
 
Without knowing that's not ordinary, that's not what coupledon is all about, that we can't have lifetimes compromised to the extent that an entirety passes by and there's nothing to show for it.
 
Life is valuable and nobody, no relationship, has a right to take away from the preciousness of each moment. Because we have too few in the entirety of a lifetime to be in a position to even lose a single one of them.
 
We need quick reparation, priority conversations, time to sort things out, to sit down with the intent of resolution, to come halfway - if not whole - to mend.
But that's easier said than done.
 
For the simple reason that hurts are deep-seated, more cavernous than ego. And fault lines once created are like deep crevasses. The solution is not bandaid, neither surgery because the scars which remain still hurt. It's only massive change and a change of attitude that will act as the silt to fill those fissures - a flood of gratefulness which would leave its residue behind, a continuous level of self-awareness of how our inadequacies are compensated by the other's presence.
 
Couples are a team, and much more than the centripetal forces of differences, it's the pre-assumption of intent which destroys. Close relationships have to start with gratefulness, take each other as gifts and stay in the moment, to find real joy.
Zen is not a strategy for love, it is the first principle. Nothing is impossible if intent and awareness are the emotions which lead.
 
Ordinary lives are then haloed in quiet beautiful ways.
 

If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on the struggles which mark coupledom - 

Before Bruises Become Wounds
What is Loss, She Asked Me
Grief Strikes Where Love Struck First


Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

Get in touch with me on [email protected]
 
The details of the music used in this episode are as follows -

Evacuation by Sascha Ende

Link: https://filmmusic.io/en/song/Evacuation
Licence:  https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

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