I read about the famous economist Daniel Kahneman, author of 'Thinking fast and slow', opting to end ha life through assisted suicide, euthanasia. He went to Switzerland, and died.
 
A friend and I were talking about it. And I remembered what Tanu and I have often discussed -
Not to live if we become a permanent burden on someone.
 
I told my friend, I was quite clear - I get to decide when I will end my life. But he asked a simple question - is your life only yours?
 
And it made me pause. And as is my wont, I started writing to clear my head. First I wrote from the perspective of the one who has decided to end his life, and followed it with the feelings of the one who is left behind.
 
And it wasn't an easy decision any longer.
 
It's easy to say that our breath, our life, is a gift to us - and after that it's our decision as to what we want to do with it. But that also started sounding glib.
 
Because the fact is that our breath, our life, is also a collective. We are made of the efforts, the hope springs, the heart carvings, the soul bindings, the body cravings, the thought mouldings of all who love and care for us. We start being someone and then are slowly changed and created out of what others see us as. What might start as an opinion, an illusion, starts getting recreated. We then are what we make of ourselves, but are also deeply vented and grooved by what our world thinks of us.
 
No, we no longer remain our own.
 
If our presence makes a difference to the lives of someone else, we are not only our own. If our mere breath gives solace to someone else, we are not our own. If mere presence, without words, without effort, makes someone's life feel complete, then our life is not merely ours.
 
And that, if nothing else, needs to give us pause, before we decide to go to the next realm.
 

If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on deaths and similar journeys - 

I Heard That You Just Set Off on a Journey
Birthday Musings of an Ageing Man
I Will Leave The Last Line For You to Fill


Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

Get in touch with me on [email protected]
 
The details of the music used in this episode are as follows -
Movie extract by Sascha Ende
A Sad Toy Story by Sascha Ende
Link: https://filmmusic.io/en/song/movie-extract
Link: https://filmmusic.io/en/song/a-sad-toy-story
Licence:  https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
 

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