One of our mantras at Trinity Heights is "there is no idea or identity that I possess that is more important than me loving the person in front of me."
One of my atheist friends recently, in another conversation with me, was saying that this has become for him sort of like a litmus test.
I like that. And maybe we can use this as a litmus test as well.  
Is there some idea that you've got that you actually would say, "this is more important than loving you in front of me."
Because when that happens, if there's some idea that is actually making it hard for me to love and care for and make a person feel loved and cared for in front of me, then that idea has grown to monstrous proportions and it needs to be put in its place.
 
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