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Listen "6. "The Inappropriate Overshare" – Balancing Masking and Authenticity in Friendship"
Episode Synopsis
"The Inappropriate Overshare" – Balancing Masking and Authenticity in Friendship
Sarah takes a neurodivergent detour into Autism and Friendship with a video by Morgan Foley, @morgaanfoley. In this clip Morgan explains how she realized that neurotypical friendship is about "constant communication." She thought, "once a friend, always a friend," and couldn't understand how friendships kept ending. But for her, she doesn't want to be constantly communicating, "that's exhausting." Her autistic brain values "understanding."
Krista asks the team, "Do you like the beginning of the party or the end of the party?" Everyone acknowledges they like the end. The superficial part is out of the way and everyone is real (maybe because they're all socially lubricated?).
Krista doesn't love small talk, which feels labor intensive, and sometimes that leads to the "Inappropriate Overshare." But just because small talk is hard that doesn't mean it doesn't have value for other people. Some people need small talk to feel connected and open up. Masking is the gift that we have to give to someone else to be in relation with them.
Rudy explores his take on friendship. He can go decades without seeing friends but when he sees them, it's like no time has passed. Yet, as a people pleaser, he avoids being direct because his brain leaps to all the possible harm he might cause to the other person.
Michael discusses the different parts of himself, like the "Protector" that doesn't allow him to say what he feels in case he is rejected. Michael explains his struggle to thread the needle between internalized shame and being vulnerable in social situations. The goal is to have the courage to allow the authentic self to exist while being self-aware of the insecurities that act like brakes.
Krista says her "Protector" shows up after the fact. The time is spent either way, in the moment people pleasing or afterwards in the perseveration.
As an aside, the team talks body doubling and what that actually means: Is it a way to regulate emotions? Does it ground the neurodivergent brain? What is actually going on?
Recorded on 2/16/24
Link to clip: https://www.instagram.com/p/C12DSRYO0ea/
Thanks to Morgan Foley, she/her, who "likes to talk about autism stuff." You can find her on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube by going to her linktree, https://linktr.ee/autismidentity
#ADHD #ADHDFriends #auDHD #ADHDAutistic #BeautyOfSelfDiagnosis #ADHDSelfDiagnosis #InappropriateOvershare #HowsYourScrotum #SmallTalk #DeepThoughts #DeepThoughtsWithADHD #Spectrum #BodyDoubling #Grounding #DontBodyDoubleMe #EnergeticFulcrum #MyElfHelper #AccountabilityPartner #LinusesBlanket #Lubrication #PowderedMilkIsAwkward #ZoomMustache #BalancePeoplePleasingAndAuthenticity #NeurodivergentMasking #PolicingMyReactions #PolicingTheirReactions #ADHDShame #YoureTooMuch #YoureNotEnough #FearIsTheMindKiller #AIMustache #FrenchTickler #InappropriateComments #Overshare
Sarah takes a neurodivergent detour into Autism and Friendship with a video by Morgan Foley, @morgaanfoley. In this clip Morgan explains how she realized that neurotypical friendship is about "constant communication." She thought, "once a friend, always a friend," and couldn't understand how friendships kept ending. But for her, she doesn't want to be constantly communicating, "that's exhausting." Her autistic brain values "understanding."
Krista asks the team, "Do you like the beginning of the party or the end of the party?" Everyone acknowledges they like the end. The superficial part is out of the way and everyone is real (maybe because they're all socially lubricated?).
Krista doesn't love small talk, which feels labor intensive, and sometimes that leads to the "Inappropriate Overshare." But just because small talk is hard that doesn't mean it doesn't have value for other people. Some people need small talk to feel connected and open up. Masking is the gift that we have to give to someone else to be in relation with them.
Rudy explores his take on friendship. He can go decades without seeing friends but when he sees them, it's like no time has passed. Yet, as a people pleaser, he avoids being direct because his brain leaps to all the possible harm he might cause to the other person.
Michael discusses the different parts of himself, like the "Protector" that doesn't allow him to say what he feels in case he is rejected. Michael explains his struggle to thread the needle between internalized shame and being vulnerable in social situations. The goal is to have the courage to allow the authentic self to exist while being self-aware of the insecurities that act like brakes.
Krista says her "Protector" shows up after the fact. The time is spent either way, in the moment people pleasing or afterwards in the perseveration.
As an aside, the team talks body doubling and what that actually means: Is it a way to regulate emotions? Does it ground the neurodivergent brain? What is actually going on?
Recorded on 2/16/24
Link to clip: https://www.instagram.com/p/C12DSRYO0ea/
Thanks to Morgan Foley, she/her, who "likes to talk about autism stuff." You can find her on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube by going to her linktree, https://linktr.ee/autismidentity
#ADHD #ADHDFriends #auDHD #ADHDAutistic #BeautyOfSelfDiagnosis #ADHDSelfDiagnosis #InappropriateOvershare #HowsYourScrotum #SmallTalk #DeepThoughts #DeepThoughtsWithADHD #Spectrum #BodyDoubling #Grounding #DontBodyDoubleMe #EnergeticFulcrum #MyElfHelper #AccountabilityPartner #LinusesBlanket #Lubrication #PowderedMilkIsAwkward #ZoomMustache #BalancePeoplePleasingAndAuthenticity #NeurodivergentMasking #PolicingMyReactions #PolicingTheirReactions #ADHDShame #YoureTooMuch #YoureNotEnough #FearIsTheMindKiller #AIMustache #FrenchTickler #InappropriateComments #Overshare
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