Ever find yourself caught in a spiral of complaint conversations that leave you feeling drained and pessimistic? Host Karen returns to ThirtyFiveSixtyFour after a year-long hiatus following an electrical fire, bringing hard-won wisdom about breaking free from what she calls “the negativity vortex.” Despite naturally leaning 80% positive, Karen discovered how easily she and her best friend had slipped into daily phone calls dominated by complaints about rising costs, work stress, and life’s general difficulties. What started as relating and supporting each other had morphed into a destructive pattern that fed on itself, gaining momentum like a psychological tornado.
Ready to escape your own negativity spiral? Karen shares her four-step recovery plan that transformed weeks of doom-scrolling conversations into uplifting daily exchanges. The solution isn’t about forced gratitude or toxic positivity—it’s about intentionally training your brain to notice what’s actually going well in real-time. Through a simple seven-day texting experiment with her friend, Karen demonstrates how our confirmation bias works both ways: if we look for problems, we’ll find them everywhere, but if we actively seek out small wins and smooth moments, those multiply too. Listeners will discover practical strategies for identifying when they’re stuck in the vortex, recruiting accountability partners, and rewiring their mental focus toward what’s working rather than what’s broken.
In this episode:

(00:00) Karen’s Return: Back Home After Electrical Fire Recovery
(02:30) Recognizing the Negativity Vortex Pattern
(05:45) How Complaint Conversations Spiral Out of Control
(08:20) The Psychology Behind “You Find What You’re Looking For”
(11:15) Why Our Brains Amplify What We Focus On
(14:00) The Four-Step Program to Break Free
(16:30) The Seven-Day Texting Experiment Rules
(19:45) Real Examples: What “Going Well” Actually Looks Like
(23:10) Why This Isn’t Just Another Gratitude Practice
(26:00) How Confirmation Bias Works For and Against Us
(29:20) Accountability Partners: Choosing the Right Person
(32:15) Results: How Conversations Transform in One Week
(35:00) New Tip Button Launch for Podcast Support
(37:30) Season Relaunch and What’s Coming Next

Resources:
ThirtyFiveSixtyFour WebsiteNew Tip/Donation Button
About:
ThirtyFiveSixtyFour is a podcast for listeners between the ages of 35 and 64. Available on all major podcast platforms, the show offers an engaging journey through the various challenges and experiences of midlife. ThirtyFiveSixtyFour presents a distinct departure from the traditional midlife crisis storyline. Instead, it champions the perspective that midlife should be viewed as a period marked by play, discovery, transformation and possibility.
If you find our stories and conversations valuable, your contribution helps cover the behind-the-scenes costs of keeping this podcast running. Leave a tip or donation here → https://thirtyfivesixtyfour.com/donate/
Episode Transcript:
Welcome to thirtyfivesixtyfour, a podcast for the middle. I am so happy to be with you today. It’s been a long break. I am finally moved. If you can see behind me and you’re watching on YouTube, I am back in my house after over a year when I had an electrical fire. It’s been quite a journey getting everything back in place and working with insurance.
I am so grateful to be home and you can see behind me I’m in a bit of a new studio environment. This is my first recording back at it in the new studio. So, so, so good to be with you today we are diving into...

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