There are three parts to a relationship: knowing your needs, effectively communicating them, and meeting your partners needs. It's your job to make sure your needs are met, but part of the point of a relationship is to have a teammate to help you fill your bucket. Communicating the specifics of those needs to your partner effectively can be difficult because your partner cannot read your mind. Curses! But communication is a skill that can be learned, so keep practicing! 
The second half of the episode focuses on conflict resolution. No conflict has ever been resolved when both people were focused only on their own perspective. Kill your ego at the start. Pause the defense and practice compassionate listening. Remember, their reality is REAL. As real as yours is to you. If you can understand and accept their perspective, the defense you were so passionate about at the beginning will either not matter anymore, or is now an "and" instead of a defensive "but".

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