In all honestly, our completely real sponsors made us do it. Still, we think you'll love what's here at thezal.sellfy.store.
In this soft launch, find sweatshirts to mugs, beanies to onesies, all by legendary 19th, 20th, and 21st century companies: 

Bananischewitz kosher banana wine: Monkeys like it, so why shouldn't you™
Matzocoin: The crypto of affliction
and of course Schmendl's Herring Deodorant: Why smell like a man when you can smell like a fish?

Happy Hannukah, happy Christian Hannukah (listen in to correct our pronunciation), and have a glorious Time Until Your Stuff Arrives.
Email us at [email protected] with any and all questions, ideas for new products of any kind (we'll make them for ya), and new sponsors you'd like to see come on board.

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