What if the most valuable performance upgrade isn’t more effort, but more honesty with yourself? We sit down with Tama Barry — former principal dancer turned sport and exercise psychologist — to map the messy terrain between certainty and growth, and how language, values, and attention shape every outcome you care about.Tama opens up about the intensity of professional ballet, the abrupt end through knee injury, and the long stretch of highly functional depression that followed. From there, we dig into adjustment disorder, identity beyond a job title, and the often invisible work of rebuilding a purpose-led life. Along the way we challenge sloppy mental health language, separate “conflict” from “a hard conversation,” and show how precise words can calm the nervous system and unlock better behaviour. If you lead teams, coach athletes, parent, or just want to get unstuck, you’ll find practical tools: emotion check-ins, values clarification, and the ACT framework for psychological flexibility.We also zoom out to the system: why teams need shared language for buy-in, how coaches can cue “hold it lighter” instead of “do it perfectly,” and why friendships deserve the same repair as romantic relationships. Tama speaks candidly about dehumanisation, queer rights, and how policy shapes wellbeing, urging critical thinking as a health skill. The pattern is consistent across sport and everyday life: notice what’s real, align actions to who you want to be, and carry difficult feelings without letting them drive.If you’re ready to move from coping to flourishing, this conversation gives you a map and the first steps. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with one value you’ll act on this week.

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