Ass guys are really suffering at this appointed time of the Lord. There is no milk in the country, and the little that is there is in select communities.

Us boob guys are enjoying our tax relief. There is no shortage where we are! Milk? What milk? So you eat that ass. Oh you already are? That’s disgusting Brother Nicodemus.

Now that I have got you pondering about the meaning of life, maybe it is time we went back to milk powder. By the way, does Miksy still exist? In high school anyone who had Miksy achieved illuminati status. They were hallowed grounds. Some of us traded our girlfriends numbers for a spoonful of Miksi!

But we didn’t do it for the money. We did it to make a point. We had a motto: in order to get, you must first learn how to let go. But that would assume that we were more of philosophers than bullies—which is a lie! We were in it for the Miksi!

Speaking of milk, our bosom (hehe) buddy Lizzy Njoki showed up in studio looking like two cartons of Lato Milk. She smells like chocolate and cardamom — the way a woman should smell. She has such a soft voice I wanted to lie on it and make love to it and have little babies called Chibudi and Chibude.

But Lizzy wants something stable. We tried to tell her it is not the length of the time. It's the length of the time in the length. For instance, why would you dump someone eti because of small small marriage. Who does that? Women are so selfish? Whey would you leave someone? Yeah yeah I have a wife and she might even be pregnant—again—but does that mean I don’t love you? No. No it does not. Plus, these are just my relatives if you really think about it.

Luhya men are honest about their feelings. We are even honest about the lies. We tell the truth in the lies.

For some weird reason, Lizzy can’t say “pushing.” She kept saying, “pussing”.  And I just can’t help but wonder if maybe she was talking about pus..

 

Our live show goes down on 1st of May at Memorial Park Nairobi. Charges are KSH 1500. Till No. 5620115. 

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