Do you coach people? Do you have staff you need to develop? If you just answered "yes" then this episode is for you. Michael Bungay Stanier joins us to talk about his book "The Coaching Habit: Say Less; Ask More and Change the Way You Lead Forever"

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Michael has an English father and Scottish Grandmother. Yet, despite this, he lives in Toronto and he’s Australian!
Michael’s book: The Coaching Habit
The Coaching Habit https://www.amazon.co.uk/Coaching-Habit-Less-Change-Forever-ebook/dp/B01BUIBBZI

Yes, "The Coaching Habit" is for business people, but if you interact with other people, this book will help you

Michael Bungay Stanier - The Coaching Habit
What’s coaching all about?
What drove Michael to get engaged with this whole area of coaching was a frustration that it always shows up with baggage attached – life coaching (a weird Californian thing full of touchy feely hugging) or business executives that have to be hard driving executives or sports coaching, which is about ordering people to run around a field. What are we even talking about.

So, for Michael the starting point was to figure out what do we mean by coaching. Or being more coach-like.
“How do you stay curious a little bit longer?”

“How do you rush to advice giving just a little bit more slowly?”
Human beings are advice giving maniacs. We love to tell people what to do. Yet, we don’t even know what the problem is most of the time. But we are so trained to be the person with the answer. We are so trained to “add value” in the conversations that we have, that we LEAP to telling people what to do.

There is something very powerful about SLOWING DOWN the conversation, just a little bit, with a few good questions. Because you get to your outcome more quickly, more effectively, more elegantly.

Michael starts his book "The Coaching Habit" with a chapter on habits.
How do you build new habits?
Nobody needs any more information about how to show up as a better man, a better woman, Dad, parent, Mentor or leader. We know this stuff.
“It’s not a knowing problem, it’s a doing problem.”
How do we shift our behaviour? Habits are the building blocks of behaviour change. So, if you want to do things differently, or elevate the way you SHOW UP IN YOUR LIFE, like building a healthier, fitter, more compassionate life, what you need to know if you want to accelerate this is HOW DO I BUILD STRONG HABITS.

Michael took the work of people like:

Charles Duhigg – The Power of Habit https://www.amazon.co.uk/Power-Habit-Why-What-Change/dp/1847946240/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1509648522&sr=1-1&keywords=charles+duhigg
BJ Fogg www.tinyhabits.com
Leo Babauta www.zenhabits.net

The habit formula

When this happens – that’s when you define the moment, the trigger or situation where you are looking to change your behaviour.
Instead of – doing the thing you want to change
I will – define your new habit that will take 60 seconds of less to complete.

This is the platform Michael uses to lead people into the coaching questions.
The seven questions that form the coaching habit
1 Kickstart question = What’s on your mind
The problem it solves, is nobody feels like they have time for coaching, your in-box is way too big…I’m just really busy. Fact, you are, but Michael’s belief is that if you cannot coach in 10 minutes of less, you just don’t have time for coaching. So, get into the conversation FAST. What’s on your mind is an open question. It says to the other person in the conversation, YOU TELL ME WHAT WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT. Not everything, just what’s on your mind. The thing you are excited by, or anxious about, or worried by or nervous by. That thing that’s waking you at 4am in the morning, or the thing that’s making you eat a slice of cheesecake at mid-night. What’s that which is on your mind?

This conversation will go to a place that’s juicier more quickly. Have context for the conversation opener what’s on your mind.

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