When Complex Clients Insist on Doing EMDR Processing Immediately

Clients often urgently need to heal. Their lives are probably unmanageable and they may have significant relational, occupational, or functional stressors that need urgent attention. We can align with that urgency. However, urgency is not a substitute for preparation. If you have a complexly traumatized nervous system, your recovery is not going to be brief and the needed preparation probably isn’t going to be short. Your relief of the current stressors may not come in the short term, when those stressors are the direct result of your allostatic load.
EMDR therapy is different than our regular coping and survival strategies. It is not culturally intuitive. It asks you to sit in the states that you may have spent much of your life organizing against or put a needle in your arm to avoid. It requires a window of tolerance. EMDR therapy starts a fire in your nervous system and when that fire starts to get better, I encourage you to put more logs on it. You have to have the capacity to be set on fire, but not consumed by it. To do this work safely with complex trauma, EMDR typically requires careful preparation and execution. Client urgency replaces none of that need for preparation and care in execution.
I have told clients that they can fire me, but I’m not doing EMDR reprocessing with them if they clearly are not prepared to do the core things that EMDR therapy requires. That isn’t going to go well for them and the consequences of that would be on me. Because I knew better. I’m happy to do some parts work or some Flash with clients who are prepared to work in those ways, but I’m just not going to do EMDR therapy because of the client’s insistency and urgency when I can clearly see that is a horrible idea.

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