#79: When Susan Lieu's mother died from a botched cosmetic surgery at age 11, her Vietnamese immigrant family did what they knew how to do: they never spoke about it again. For three decades, the silence persisted. But when Susan faced the question "How do I become a mother if I never knew my own?" everything changed.
 
In this deeply moving conversation, Susan Lieu – a Vietnamese American author, playwright, and performer – shares her extraordinary journey from Microsoft cybersecurity professional to acclaimed solo performer and author. With zero theater training, she wrote and starred in a 65-minute show playing 15 family members, performed 60 times to 7,000 people while pregnant, and wrote the memoir "The Manicurist's Daughter" — an Apple Book Pick and NPR Best Book of 2024.
 
Susan's story is about the courage to break generational silence, the power of becoming your family's archive keeper, and discovering that sometimes the stories we're forbidden to tell are exactly the ones the world needs to hear.
 
Key Topics Discussed:
Family Secrets & Silence

How trauma and cultural differences create walls of silence
The cost of keeping family secrets vs. the courage to tell the truth

 
Intergenerational Trauma & Healing

Understanding her parents' escape from Vietnam as boat people
Learning to forgive a father shaped by war and loss

 
Body Image

Unpacking the message "if you get fat, no one will love you"
Reframing relationship with her body: "My body is my mother's last gift to me"

 
Truth & Memory

How different family members hold different versions of the same story
The power of archiving family history for future generations

 
Notable Quotes:
"For me to go on a quest to avenge my mother's death, to track down the killer, to bring justice to our family, but really to know her was this confrontation of being courageous in my own family."
 
"My body is my mother's last gift to me. When I say I hate my body, that means you're saying you hate where you come from."
 
"Sometimes the stories we're not allowed to tell are exactly the ones the world needs to hear."
 
"In activating this courage, we will learn something new. It'll give us new information to keep pivoting, to keep inching toward what we think will give us our self-actualization."
 
Connect with Susan:

Website: https://www.susanlieu.me/
Instagram: @SusanLieu
Substack: "Live Like You're Mortal" https://susanlieu.substack.com/
Podcast: "Model Minority Moms" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/model-minority-moms/id1565085683
Book: "The Manicurist's Daughter" (available in print and audiobook) https://www.amazon.com/Manicurists-Daughter-Memoir-Susan-Lieu/dp/1250835046
TEDx Talk: "How to Make Peace with Your Belly Fat" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al0Jw_9b06Y

 
Connect with The Courage Effect:

Host: Suzanne Weller / Weller Collaboration
Website: https://wellercollaboration.com/thecourageeffect
Social Media: https://linktr.ee/suzanneweller
Substack: Sign up for Suzanne’s Reimagine Growth newsletter at https://suzanneweller.substack.com/about 

 
Support the Show:
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