No one ever quite understood how Vernon Simms could be so closemouthed about it all. Ever since his six improbable years of marriage to the esteemed (just ask her) Annabeth Chase ended in divorce, the lanky handyman hadn’t spoken a peep about it. And believe me — when the town’s only power tie-wearing female executive marries, then divorces, its happy-go-lucky handyman, it’s news.
So when Vernon took to the Wheezer’s stage on Open Mic Night, we all held our breath and hoped for a little insight. What we got, amazingly, was the whole enchilada.

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